A Shat New Year

http://www.livevideo.com

"It's still real to me, dammit"

Last night, #1 nephew thought he was boarding a bus with Evan, G, Lurch and The Kidd to go to a mall in Jersey to "buy hats and meet girls". Instead, he was surprised with an evening of the great sport:



Needless to say, nephew was a VERY happy young man and got very very into it!



It was just one of those great nights. Kudos to the men for coming along. My nephew had a blast, as did I. I'm glad he can see Ric Flair before Flair is barred from the ring forever. Jeff Jarrett phrased it perfectly in a History Channel Doc: “those who believe don’t need an explanation. And for those who don’t believe – no explanation will do”. For one night, we didn't need any explanation to enjoy it on the pureset level as we did when we were 8. It's fun watching it through the eyes of a kid. Happily, my nephew understands that this is all staged and that these guys are telling each other the moves and such and often asks if the wrestlers are nice or friends with each other "in real life". He also knows that he can't do these moves to anyone other than G. Thus, he will never be this:



Happy Holidays.

F

Dog of the year

The one that sticks his nose in my bandmate's ass every Saturday.

2006: The Year Of Jarvis

No, I'm not talking about the pantomime American Jarvis. The real one. Jarvis Cocker. The man who, four months ago, was not even a contender for this list because no one knew he had an album coming out. An album that turned out to be genius, contrary to the nonsense Pitchfork wrote. In a year when there was little to excite me, Jarvis pulled through with flying colors.

F has the zeitgeist spot-on when he describes 2006 as the "year of the disappointment," in music at least. A number of groups important in my life delivered albums that were not just dull... but disastrous, career-sinking abortions. The beloved Primals will never be the same in my eyes again, while The Killers (shepherded by Flood and Alan Moulder) became obese rock 'n' roll parodies. And Richard Ashcroft released a soundtrack for a dentist's office.

There was such a dearth of great new records this year that I could not name ten that I thought deserved to be on this list. Jarvis handily won the top spot, though Morrissey and TV On The Radio were close contenders. I should note that I really wanted Kasabian to land at or close to number one, but the initial rush of excitement I felt for their sophomore album dropped off considerably. Two of their three single choices have been appalling, more than half of the new songs aren't sticking with me, and while I still rate them highly, I miss the sound and style of the Chris Karloff era more and more. Let's hope this changes.

In contrast, so many classic records were reissued this year that I had difficulty paring my list to the ten best. But as I said before, the best of the best could not come within a mile of the three Pulp reissues curated by Jarvis. Even Robert Smith from The Cure couldn't touch these, and his own series of remastered box sets has been stellar in every respect.

Lastly, my glass is raised to Nick Rhodes and John Taylor of Duran Duran for curating the year's best compilation album.

BEST ALBUMS:
01. Jarvis Cocker — Jarvis (Rough Trade)
02. Morrissey — Ringleader Of The Tormentors (Attack/Sanctuary)
03. TV On The Radio — Return To Cookie Mountain (4AD)
04. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — Show Your Bones (Interscope)
05. Kasabian — Empire (BMG)
06. Lamas, Gustavo — Mareo (Casa Del Puente Discos)
07. Twilight Singers, The — Powder Burns (One Little Indian)
08. Lily Allen: Alright, Still (EMI)

ALBUMS THAT NEARLY RUINED MY YEAR:
01. Primal Scream — Riot City Blues (Sony)
02. Gustavo Cerati — Ahi Vamos (BMG Argentina)
03. Killers, The — Sam's Town (Island)
04. Ashcroft, Richard — Keys To The World (Virgin)

BEST SINGLES:
01. Jarvis Cocker — "Running The World" (Rough Trade)
02. Delia Gonzalez And Gavin Russom — "Revelee" (DFA/Astralwerks)
03. Serena-Maneesh — "Drain Cosmetics" (Playlouder)
04. Morrissey — "You Have Killed Me" (Attack/Sanctuary)
05. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — "Gold Lion" (Interscope)
06. Shit Robot — "Wrong Galaxy/Triumph" (DFA/Astralwerks)
07. Knife, The — "Silent Shout" (Brille/Rabid)
08. Pet Shop Boys — "I'm With Stupid" (EMI)
09. Kasabian — "Shoot The Runner" (BMG)
10. Depeche Mode — "Suffer Well" (Mute)

BEST ALBUM TRACKS/B-SIDES:
01. Jarvis Cocker — "Black Magic" (Rough Trade)
02. Kasabian — "Stuntman" (BMG)
03. Gustavo Cerati — "Lago En El Cielo" (BMG Argentina)
04. TV On The Radio — "Province" (4AD)
05. The Twilight Singers — "Bonnie Brae" (One Little Indian)
06. Morrissey — "To Me You Are A Work Of Art" (Attack/Sanctuary)
07. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — "Dudley" (Interscope)
08. Transmission — "Glade" (Malicious Damage)
09. Killing Joke — "This Tribal Antidote" (Cooking Vinyl)
10. New Order — "I Told You So" (Stuart Price Remix) (Warner)

BEST REISSUES/LIVE SETS/GREATEST HITS:
01. Pulp — His 'N' Hers/Different Class/This Is Hardcore (Island)
02. Comsat Angels, The — Fiction (Renascent)
03. Cure, The — The Head On The Door (Rhino/Fiction)
04. Various — Nick Rhodes And John Taylor Present Only After Dark (EMI)
05. Depeche Mode — Songs Of Faith And Devotion/Violator (Rhino/Mute)
06. Jam, The — Snap! (Special Edition) (Universal)
07. Manic Street Preachers — Everything Must Go (Sony/BMG)
08. Cale, John — Paris 1919 (WEA)
09. Tears For Fears — Songs From The Big Chair (Deluxe Edition) (Mercury)
10. Jesus And Mary Chain, The — Darklands (Rhino)

BEST GIGS OF 2006:
01. Jarvis Cocker — La Cigale (November)
02. !!! — Northsix (June)
03. TV On The Radio — Bowery Ballroom (April)
04. Maserati — Northsix (December)
05. Serena-Maneesh — Mercury Lounge (January)
06. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — Bowery Ballroom (February)
07. Dead Meadow — McCarren Park Pool (July)
08. Kasabian — Webster Hall (September)

MOST ANTICIPATED ALBUMS OF 2007:
01. Brett Anderson — TBA (TBA)
02. Kraftwerk: Der Katalog (Astralwerks)
03. !!! — Myth Takes (Touch And Go)
04. Maserati — Inventions For The New Season (Temporary Residence)
05. LCD Soundsystem — Sound Of Silver (DFA/EMI)
06. Doves — TBA (TBA)
07. MIA — TBA (XL)
08. Johnny Marr And The Healers — TBA (TBA)
09. Modest Mouse — We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Epic)
10. Chris Connelly — The Episodes (Durtro/Jnana)

Oh Six

Ok, so, it's time for the Year End business and I am sure my mates are having just as hard a time as I am trying to find a Best Of list to compile in regards to any new albums. 2006 will be seen as the Year of the Disappointment, and I'm not just talking about various cunts. I'm talking about new music. Some of the fucking GREATS came back this year and delivered underwhelming albums. Dickie in particular started off good and then went to total snooze mode and Cerati did an album that, if you started off a Soda Stereo fan, you'd love it, but if you, like us, started at Bocanada, this new album made little sense. And while I didn't hate the Primals album like Brandt did, I think we deserved something cutting edge and and not a retread. I actually go back to that album more than I do the other two. I mention these three albums in particular because they were on last years most anticipated list. My personal biggest disappointment was Razorlight which was limp as many peoples excuses. All these albums fall into the "there are three or four REALLY good songs and the rest is whatever". I can't tell you how many times I said that this year.

In the meantime, Jarvis wins in the re-issue department. Everyone who EVER does some kind of re-issue needs to check out what Jarvis did for Pulp and what Hussey did for The Mish. THOSE are fucking reissues. Anyhow, I have decided not to to a most anticpiated in 07 list simply to not jinx anything. As always I pick the top choice of the year and then everything else is just listed in no particular order:

ALBUMS:

*KASABIAN: Empire is ALBUM OF THE YEAR*

Honestly, it was a very close call with Jarvis. I ended up with Empire for one very simple reason: I fucking love it. It's a great album, but needed a few more tunes to back up the band's hyping it up as a classic. It's not, but it could have been, and in the year when a lot of stuff sucked, this stands out. I've sorta scaled back hyping Kasabian on this blog, but they ARE my favourite band and the only new band in recent memory that I feel have a long future. The Japanese ep releases help.

JARVIS COCKER: Jarvis
THE TWILIGHT SINGERS: Powder Burns
MORRISSEY: Ringleader Of The Tormentors
SAINTFACE: Apartment Stories (technically came out this year, so it makes the list)
GUSTAVO LAMAS: Mareo
MUSE: Black Holes And Revelations
MIDLAKE: The Trials of Van Occupanther
CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG: 5:55
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: Futuresex/Lovesounds
THE TWILIGHT SINGERS: A Stitch in Time EP
FLAVIUS E: Conjuncion EP

REISSUES:

*PULP: HIS N HERS, DIFFERENT CLASS, and THIS IS HARDCORE are REISSUES OF THE YEAR*

Everything from the packaging to the mastering to the bonus material to the liner notes is SICK SICK SICK. As I mentioned earlier, any band who EVER re-releases something needs to follow this. You can see why it took Jarvis 5 years to get a solo record out. He was doing this the whole time. Awesome.

THE MISSION: ANTHOLOGY
THE SISTERS OF MERCY: re-issues of the 3 albums
ELECTRONIC: Get the Message
TEARS FOR FEARS: Song From The Big Chair
MANIC STREET PREACHERS: Everything Must Go
JOHN CALE Paris 1919
OASIS: Stop the Clocks

GIGS:

*TWILIGHT SINGERS at Warsaw is GIG OF THE YEAR*
Just the best time I had with my mates all year.

KASABIAN at Webster Hall
EDITORS at Rothko
DICKIE at Webster
ELBOW at Webster
GORILLAZ at the Apollo
MASERATI at Northsix
MUSE at Hammerstien
GOLDFRAPP at Roseland


MOVIES:

*CASINO ROYALE is MOVIE OF THE YEAR*

It just rocked. All you idiot Daniel Craig haters who thought he would suck are morons. He owns your fat ass.

BORAT
THE DEPARTED
THE PROPOSITION
V FOR VENDETTA
EXILED
ELECTION 2
THE PRESTIGE
THE ILLUSIONIST
PAN'S LABRYNTH
BABEL
VOLVER


TV:

*24 is TV SHOW OF THE YEAR*

Oh come on motherfucker, like you werent jumping off the couch screaming.

HEROES
MY NAME IS EARL
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
SMALLVILLE (When GREEN ARROW was on)
SOUTH PARK
BOSTON LEGAL
STUDIO 60
ENTOURAGE

NEW CATEGORY: COMICS:

*GREEN LANTERN is COMIC OF THE YEAR*

I'm biased, but really there's no better super-hero comic out there, unless it's written by the same guy. There's no comic that is as satsifying a read each month. It's epic and cinematic.

ALL STAR SUPERMAN
INFINITE CRISIS
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN
ASTONISHING X-MEN
BATMAN (both Robinson and Morrison runs)
ACTION COMICS
TEEN TITANS
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA
52

Extra:

Hero of the Year was Oh My Lord
Videogame of the year was BULLY
Wrestler of the Year is CM Punk
Director of The Year: Johnnie To
Trip of the Year was San Diego
Man of the Year was Frank
Woman of the Year was Pat
Kid of the Year was my Nephew
Dog of the Yeat was my nephew's dog
Villian of the Year was some cunts

See you in 07, asshole!

F

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

To-Tastic

Yesterday, I went to the chiropractor. it was sweet. He cracked me like danny's ankle meeting the cold steel of an oncoming car, except with the opposite effect. I do worry when he cracks my neck, it feels weird, but then awesome. Then my mom gave me a brownie and a cup of tea.

I quickly ran back to the city to FINALLY get rid of the goddamn glass coffee table. I was aided in this by EVAN, who was awesome, despite showing up 4 minutes late ;-) Irene and I had decided that if no one took the goddamn glass coffee table, we would donate it to our favourite charity, Housing Works, which is a charity dealing with homeless people with AIDS, and conveniently located within a few blocks of the apt. We donate stuff there often. So then, straight out of "buddy cop movie" we created in college, Evan and I, with only 20 minutes left till the place closed, ran down the block with this VERY heavy table. We tried to sell it to people as we went, and we almost had a few takers, but anyhow, the table is now with the nice people at Housing Works. Evan gets props and got a free meal in Chinatown

Evan and I were beat, and Irene was working late and Brandt was already back in Chicago. Lurch bailed and he made a mistake cause Ev and I watched the new Johnnie To movie EXILED and honestly, it fucked OWNED and might be my favourite HK movie this year. I think one review I read described it as "Johnnie To's Greatest Hits" combined into one movie. Literally every Johnnie To regular is in this movie, even Simon Yam, who I love and had no idea was the bad guy. Its a difficult movie to explain, but it starts off with two hit men arriving at an apartment in Macau to off a guy. They are followed by two other guys determined to stop the hit, and it turns out they are all, including the target, childhood friends. It then becomes this wonderful action drama, sprinkled with lots of laughs and masculine bonding and tons of soul. What a movie. Everyone is so awesome in this, especially Anthony Wong, who is the de facto leader of the group. The only thing I could think of was that this was the gangster movie equivalent of the MOGpac. Some will get that, others won't. Massive movie. Awesome. See it.

And now we prepare. Nephew, his dog, and his mother arrive today. And I need my rest!

F

What about Reg?

From: dan_hamill@______.com
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply:
Date: December 21, 2006 7:28:14 PM EST
To: fjd@hypefactor.com

I am out of the office, returning Tuesday Jan. 2nd. For immediate inquiries on Dec. 21st and 22nd please contact Roni Kersey. Otherwise I will speak to you in the new year.

A holidays surprise for the ladies!!

The Truth about the last few days.

It was a Jerry-less weekend. Or was it? Danny and I went to chinatown and Sizzled some rice and ate pork chops we never should have ordered. As you can see above, this weekend B and I worked on the title track from the forthcoming HF album. He played some sweet guitars. it was fun. Then Allison Brown made cookies and let me eat them. Later, Irene and I drank with a famous comic book writer in Soho. The following day, The Kidd made pot roast for men in Queens and it fucking rocked so hard. We also ate cookies and Men's Pocky. Then we realized they didn't have cable and totally realized that Family Guy is as stupid as the South Park guys claimed, so the four of us (me, lurch, g and kidd) gathered around G's laptop and watched THIS:



Repeatedly. A great moment in our young lives.

Anyway, as you know we are funny people. Much funnier than most people you know (thats not sarcasm like "my friends think I'm cool", its just a fact, and even Brandt said to his girlfriend that others aspire to be as funny as I am), so then we updated the newer Lurch created blog, which I had nothing to do with the creation of, but thought was hilarious and thus earned a spot as a poster on this blog:

http://veracitybz.blogspot.com/

You can see our handiwork there. It's about the truth. I especially enjoy the Truth about Dan Hamill. then I watched the Oasis movie, which was really good, especially when Liam yells at Noel in japan about how he should stop talking to the fucking NME cause they will make shit up anyway and then talk shit about their albums. Awesome.

Nephew on Friday. Then Christmas begins.

F

I've seen the future....

This might be my favourite shit ever:




EVER.

RE:

From: "Douchee, Ashley"
To: "Undisclosed Recipients"

*NOTE FROM BOSS MOG: I had too many complaints about this fucking thing, and Matt had even suggested pulling it, so what I have done is copied and pasted into into the comment section if you want to see this dumb fucking thing Ash sent. I don't see Jerry's name on there, but I'm sure he was copied*

Start The Countdown, Murray!

I'll Call My Guy

It's been very difficult to sit and actually type to you and I apologize for that. It's been busy, as I'm sure you can imagine. What is usually my quietest time of year has become the busiest. It's been a regular madhouse of work, screenings, gigs and forward momentum on the Hypefactor front.

Last week, we checked out a few screenings. The first was PAN's LABYRINTH, directed by the massively fucking awesome Guillermo del Toro. Man, this guy is so talented. I loved HELLBOY and I just think this is a guy who has it. PAN's is his original idea and it's a very scary, violent adult fairy tale. This is certainly on my top 10 of the year. It's a post WWII fantasy about a young girl coming to grips with a violent world that she has been thrusted into. This movie is so smart, so moving. I loved every second of it. del Toro is a very unique and special talent.

Then, Irene and I checked out BLOOD DIAMOND, which I went into with very low expectations. I was mildly surprised how it didn't suck. It's way too fucking long, and at the end it's way too preachy, but it's the first DiCaprio movie I ever watched with Irene where she didn't complain about him, so I think that means he's good in this (not as good as THE DEPARTED obviously), but its my man Djmon Honsou who owns this movie and brings it to a level it probably never should have reached. Awesome work from an extremely talented actor. This is very good commercial filmmaking. It's not going on my best of or anything, but it was certainly a satisfying movie.

I am hard pressed to remember some of the events of the week. I know I had dinner with Lurch, the feminine awesomeness of his friend Adrienne and even more feminine awesomeness of Doug Menin, who introduced us a sweet Afghan place right near my apartment. A great pick up line was invented: "IF YOU CHARM ME, I WILL SPARE YOU". I think Adrienne said this, but knowing Lurch, he will claim it as his own. He has a habit of doing that.

The weekend saw me visit my stylist, yes I look good even though I fell asleep in the chair, and then we went on to do an insane amount of Christmas shopping with Irene. It was hard work but mostly done. Saturday night was the one night I wanted to stay home and do nothing. We were both falling alseep on the couch. But we had previous plans, which included my younger cousin, so there were out boozing till the wee hours, which was a terrible idea in retrospect as we had to have brunch with my folks that next morning. Oh, and I don't apologize to doucheface for my opinions of him and his music, I do apologize to my bandmate Brandt for my texting him nonstop about said encounter and opinion. Oh well. A little piss and vinegar from your hero every now and then is a good thing. I think. I mean, they suck. Truly. I don't deal well with assholes claiming to have previously been in my favourite band in NYC. No.

Sunday was band day, but honestly, your hero went to Brooklyn, ate dounuts, and rested his head on the desk while Brandt made some beats and Charles laid down some bassy goodness. I was useless though I occasionally put forth an idea or two. Good work all around, mostly because I was in pain, but awesome work nonetheless. Progress is good. The tunes are solid and galaxies better than any shit band pretending to be Oasis and claiming to have been in Saintface. Then we were joined by the 4th Levellers of Ash and Justin and we had a nice group dinner at that Korean/Japanese place that I keep forgetting the name of even though Brandt posts it in the responses every time I say that. Anyhow, Ash and I split the table grill and I cooked for him. Irene's mom would be so proud of me.

Then we drove to somewhere who the fuck knows in some industrial section of Greenpoint to see Maserati yet again. I was told incorrectly that they were headlining and playing a longer set than last week, but instead they were opening and playing in a an empty diner. I loved the location, cause it was just a band set up in a diner, not a real venue per se and of course you can stick these guys anywhere and they'll rock your ass to the ground, which they did again. JERRY IS SO FUCKING AWESOME YOU CANT BELIEVE IT. I'm not making that up either. However, the gig was wrecked when some dumb fucking cunt boys who were moshing (who the fuck moshes other than teenagers) FELL THROUGH THE GEAR! THROUGH JERRYS GEAR! and the gig was over on a shit note. We hung around and drank crap beer in a deserted diner while Ash chatted his boy Jerry. And then that was it. While I was exhausted and didn't want to go, I do enjoy the company of the guys and Ash made a point after in that it felt like the old days, work on music, go see a band everyone is into, be inspired and then go and make more awesome music that is better than the britpop bullshit some guy with a bad combover who thinks he is Noel Gallagher when he actually writes songs on the level of the magician Gallagher. Thats what we do, thats how we roll. Thats why HF is going to give you favourite album of 07 soon.

Special kudos to Matt Gentile for getting the historical videos rolling again. I hope this becomes a regular thing! He's got the editing talent to make this fucking sweet ass.

F

it's like that time we were in russia when...

WORST NEWS EVER:

"Unfortunately the restaurant will be temporary closed due to an electric fire. We will keep you updated. We presume it will take at least a month to repair the damage. Thank you for your patronage. Ca'Brea Restaurant"

Man, I am really glad I am not in LA this week.

Lost Time

Hello friends:

I am exhausted but feel the need to write you. It was a productive weekend. I had colleagues in town from Tokyo and this occupied me 24/7. I also made the horrible mistake of drinking 127 proof bourbon with them on Thursday night, which effectively wrecked me for a day and a half. I did however, have a productive time with B in the studio both yesterday and today. We each took turns working on Ashworld (the album hidden track) and added our various trademark sounds. It was a lot of fun.

But things got even more fun when I found myself being brought along with B, Ash, Charles and Laura for a laugh filled sushi dinner in Brooklyn. This was a good time and somehow during this meal, I was coerced (read: they had an extra ticket) into checking out the band MASERATI from ATHENS GA (I wrote that for Chad who is from there). I had heard these guys before and actually had originally been asked to attend this gig, but declined. I didn't really like what I had heard, but hey, I was in Brooklyn already, Irene was working late, and I was feeling pretty handsome, so why not? Also, they were all singing the praises of the drummer JERRY FUCHS, who Brandt told me was better than Kasabian's drummer, so this was certainly something I had to see. I was getting strange stalker love vibes from my friends about this man very quickly, the kind that usualy happen with women towards Matt Gentile, so I figure I should check this out.



So we went to Northsix, which I believe I once saw Saintface at, and Maserati took to the stage. Oh, did I mention they were instrumental half asses, just like the cobra? Half ass by the way, is a term of endearment, so don't read it as an insult, sometimes I have to "insert wise ass gimmick here". As I get older I am revealling my secrets. Anyhow, these guys, a 4 piece of two guitars, bass and drums (DRUMS PLACED UP FRONT, which is not happening in my band) came on and quite frankly, they were fucking awesome. Great tunes (though I wish some had vocals) and they wisely rocked hard. A bit on the long time, but thats what instrumental half asses do (though the cobras even more wisely understand song length, maybe because the guitarist was in a pop band before this). And yes, Jerry is a SICK SICK SICK drummer, and I will gladly admit he is better than Kasabian's drummer, and EVERYONE LOVES HIM AND STALKS HIM. EVERYONE LOVES HIM SO MUCH I WILL PUT MULTIPLE PICTURES UP OF HIM HERE. EVERYONE WANTS TO TALK TO HIM. EVERYONE. Charles pranced to the stage to say hello, ash debated even talking to this man, and Brandt supposedly watched him break up with a girl at some Sushi place. I wasn't even this bad when I lived across the street from John Cale, but then again, John Cale was a scary fuck. Happily the only sane one



Anyhow, the set was too short, but the songs were good and I would buy their new album knowing JERRY played on it. I will now refer to JERRY in all caps because I have never seen (allegedly) grown men act like mildy retarded schoolgirls when discussing another grown man. I mean, I don't even talk about George Michael or Kasabian like that. Right?

Anyhow, sure enough to make the night even that much better, we were blessed with a cameo appearance from ROBIN EMMET, she formerly of the aggression and she currently of all things MOGpac. So finally, after years of trying, the gang was together for a few drinks before Ash lost his car and Robin and I couldn't get back to the city, but for those few hours, everything was right in the world, but I put that mostly on JERRY, whom everyone LOVES. Even me. He's gonna be my friend on Myspace soon. Fingers (phingers) crossed.

F

The Music Dies

My city and youth are rapidly being stripped from yet again, as my beloved Music Palace, the last great Chinatown movie theatre, has finally been demolished. Yes, it's been closed for like 6 years but to now see it just gone is too much for me to bear. I have so many memories of going to this place. I used to sneak down there when I was 12/13 and just watch whatever was playing at the time. Back then, you had no internet, no way of knowing when the next Jackie movie would play. It was all about timing. Weather meant nothing to me. Snow, rain, I didn't give a shit. All I needed was some pork buns and a hot bowl of soup from Wanton Garden and I was set for the day. My two favourite memories being there are 1. Watching DRUNKEN MASTER 2 with a packed house that went insane for every move Jackie made and 2. Watching Stephen Chow's KING OF COMEDY in an empty house with Lurch and G and just crying laughing the entire time. I saw hundreds of movies in this place and I will miss it like a lost friend.

This is an excellent tribute to it as well as the other Chinatown movie theatres (its where I cribbed the photo from):

http://subwaycinema.com/frames/musicpalace2.htm

Would you...

... describe drinking tea, eating roast beef and hitting schoolchildren as "traditional British values"?

Uncle Of The Year: DECLARED

When the Uncle Of The Year Award nominations are announce, expect your hero, me, to not only find himself on the shortlist of nominees but also the winner of the award by a very clear margin. Now most of you already knew this, I mean how many 8 year olds hang out with Frank Miller, play videogames months in advance of their release date (Thanks, Evan) and get a college level education in Pro Wrestling History but today was the icing on the cake.

That is because your hero, ME, got up at 5am and stood on a line for hours outside of _____________ in order to get his favourite nephew a ______________ for Christmas. Believe it or not, this thing is so in demand, that i got there at 5 to 6 and there were over FORTY people ahead of me! Can you believe that? and by the time the place opened, I was probably within the first quarter of the line. Anyhow, around 7am, a nice guy from the store took a headcount and told us they had enough units to acommodate us, so it was a big sigh of relief. Anyway, they opened at 8 and I was home back in bed by 8:45.

I have left the location and item intentionally blank as my nephew is somewhat web savvy. More on this on 12/25.

F

Double O Animal

Somehow in the midst of chaos and travel and music, I failed to mention that we saw CASINO ROYALE on opening night and it was the awesomest shit I might have seen this year. What a movie. It's certainly up there as one of my favourite movies this year and while it's long, it was great and Daniel Craig haters, go fuck yourselves. He is a fucking ANIMAL, I couldn't believe how good he was. I mean, i KNEW he would be awesome, but this was beyond anything I would have thought. My dad, who views Bond as I do STAR WARS, called me raving like a little kid about how much he loved it. While Jackie Chan didn't like it (see HIS blog), I did. Great filmmaking, smart character development and a new lease for this franchise.

Speaking of Jackie: he is officially nuts and not because he passed on my ideas for a kid's franchise a few years ago, but because he blogs in a manner than can only be compared to talking to ex bandmates on the phone. Every fucking little detail is in described. I kinda love it. Check it out:

http://www.jackiechan.com/message_view?cid=559

F

Slight Return

I know I know. Out of the loop. Sorry.

LA was a travel pain in the ass. Not quite a nightmare getting there, but tense. Traffic, flight delays, etc., but we got there and proceeded to get no sleep at all. Such is life. However, we ate well, and spent some time with some good people like Irene's mom, the Councilwoman, The CEO (who we had breakfast with next to Diane Keaton), The Cramps, and of course my fave comic writer on the planet. The trip was way too short and we need to re-consider this whole "fly by back to New York at 7am on Thanksgiving and go right to the family dinner" thing. If I have my way, we will do Thanksgiving with the left coast family and Christmas with the right coast family. But honestly, wherever #1 nephew is at is where I want to be.

This is Irene's busiest time of the year, she having 2 jobs, and by nature of what I do, it becomes my quietest. Well, not yet actually, as all my colleagues who I usually travel to Japan to see are actually coming here to NY tomorrow. And while I like these guys a lot, and enjoy working with them, it's always more fun when I travel to THEM as opposed to them coming here. But until then, your hero has been catching up with family while also making the trek up to the councilwoman's hometown in Westchester to spend some time with the bassist himself. There we had an enjoyable evening where we went through tunes both new and old and I got him to to give me feedback on some recent demos and remixes and finaly to lend some of the magic to what might be the HF hidden album track. He also has a dog that loves me in ways I can't describe. And that love is mutual (short of the humping) Anyway, we had some sushi, we played some music, we had a few laughs, and we watched some of Alien 3 on his sick ass home theatre system. Man that was comfortable, I could have fallen asleep on the couch but the screen is about the size of my apartment. Sick stuff.

Anyhow, technical problems have plagued me since I have returned also. At first, I thought the IPod had died, so I ordered a new one (at a sick price, thanks Evan), only to go to Charles' that night have my M-Audo device not work because something was wrong with the firewire port. Or so I thought. A trip to Apple yesterday morning told me that there was nothing wrong with this relatively new computer, yes it was the ipod and the sound problems I had were because my M-Audio Firewire software was crashing against the new version of Live. One simple driver download solved all my problems, made me a happy boy, got my creative juices flowing and then I watched...

ROB B HOOD: the new Jackie Chan "steals a baby" movie, which, in all honestly, did not suck!! It's not a classic by any means, but a solid mix of action, comedy, faux gayness, cheese, and the genius of Louis Koo, my myspace friend (go see, he posted), as Jackie's partner in crime. The Twin The Looks Like Irene is in it too, and Irene's boyfriend, Daniel Wu has a cameo, but the best was seeing Yuen Biao (shame on you if you don't know who this is) finally again onscreen with Jackie and showing some moves as well. He is a sorely missed presence. I wish Sammo had popped in for this, or at least a cameo, but such is life, and honestly, Louis Koo is hysterical in this. While the ending dragged a bit, it was nice being in Jackie World for a bit and not yelling at the screen (go back and check last year's review of THE MYTH, which is an honest to god piece of shit). Jackie works best with Benny Chan (who directed the very good New Police Story) and should keep trying new ideas with him. God knows what jackie is gonna do next in HK (his next films are RUSH HOUR 3 and the movie with Jet LI, which sounds kinda wack, but who the fuck knows). I'm gearing up in the next year to get #1 nephew into this world of cinema, after I have fully educated him on the great sport of pro wrestling.

And after watching the movie, I went to Brooklyn and ate with the family. I am still full. Now I will be lazy while Irene sleeps and play Raw Vs Smackdown 2007 while counting the moments till my new ipod arrives.

F

Who Do I Remind You Of?

I'm off to the other side of the country in a few hours, but amidst all the personal chaos came an awesome and productive HF session on Saturday featuring the cobra crew (sans drummer), who came in for the next round of the Azumi Sessions. It started quickly as Charles and I dueled some basses until (like in 15 seconds) began to crack the verse. From there, it became one of those exercises in method where the song began to evolve. During all this, Ash, calm cool and controlled as always, walked right in and laid down some keyboards over the verses to add a new layer to the whole thing. Then, he went back to the city for some dinner, while me, Charlton, and B went and got some sweet Korean food and drank Kurasawa Sake. Mmmm. I'll get the name of this place, B knows.

Anyhow, we went back to the studio, where Charles proceeded to re-play the chorus and bridge stuff I had previously written and everyone was dead pleased. It was getting late into the evening, but sure enough, Ash returned, picked up a guitar and laid some riffs over the verses as well. By the time the evening was over, we had jumped way ahead with the tune. Mind you, there's still a ways to go with it, but now B and I have to sit and evaluate what we need to do next with it. I personally can't wait to try some bass over this. B has an idea of a certain bridge for me to fill out and I'm gonna give it a shot next time we get together.

Kudos as always to the Cobras and their friend Dinkelstein and kudos to brandt for running such a tight and anal ship.

Also, we ate donuts. Sorry, you had to be there to understand that and the heading above. Another time. Another book.

F

It's a sad weekend for the DeSanto clan as mom and pop DeSanto lost their closest friend of many decades, Pat, do a long illness. Luckily, Irene and I got to see her last weekend before things reached the end. We've lost a real kick ass and constant presence in our lives and our best goes to her kids and grandkids and boyfriend. Our families spent many a christmas eve together and I travelled the world with them for a lot of my youth. Sad. RIP.

Twilight As Seen By The MOGpac

Members of the MOGpac gathered yet again to see Dulli bring it to Warsaw for the second leg of the Twilight Singers tour for Powder Burns. You may recall that the last time Dulli played here in Brooklyn many years ago that was an ugly drunken experience that would have not been out of place as a deleted scene from Borat. This time however, the stars aligned (even if the weather did not) and a much needed wonderful carefree evening was had. Instead of going into details, I will allow Irene's photos do the talking:

"SPARTANS! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!"



Dulli brought it, and brought it like a champ:



And Danny was happy:



Dulli brought in Lanegan to shake things up a bit:



And we sang along:



For some, it is a religious experionce:



The Kidd, when drinking and happy, becomes a close talker:





Brandt and the saint who lets us play music to 2am in her house a few times a week seemed to have fun:



Back to the Kidd. He is quite funny, especially when he "loses" his girlfriend at gigs:



Here she is, btw, around the time he lost her:



These two fans stopped us after the show to tell us we were "the best thing about the show", which is a far cry from our last Warsaw trip:



From the street afterwards, we saw the guitarist up on the fire escape. We asked him to bring out the legendary drummer Bobby Mac out, but the Mighty Fine Douchebag came out to see what was up and Danny proceed to call him, well, a Mighty Fine Douchebag, and that didn't go over to well.



And then it was over:



So we went for drinks and then a stroll:



But alas, the evening was not over, as Danny decided to start going mental:



But then took a dive worthy of his Backyard Icon title:



And your hero, well, he "danced", celebrating Danny's ability to still sell like a world champ:




These kids were just asked irene to take a pic, so she obliged:



Photos by:



And then it was really over:



Good Night.

Fat children took my life

I respect a man that nonchalantly takes the Metro home from his own sold-out gig. I expect many good things in 2007.

The latest!

Its hard to resume normal blogging after posting the life altering video of awesomeness that is Avy Kruger rocking out to the Sisters. But alas, here I am giving your ass the latest it needs in self-centered Frank entertainment.

*B is off in Paris, seeing Jarvis no less, but doesn't mean we didn't get to work before he left. Unfortunately, our Tuesday night was one of those nights where things just didn't click. I tried for hours to write some new parts for AZUMI, but I just couldn't bring it home. These days happen rarely, but when they do, it sucks ass. At the end of the night, we switched gears a bit, and I laid down some F-bass on a 30 second soundclip you will be hearing the revamped HF.com (no ETA, but we're planning ahead).

*VOLVER, directed by the awesome Almovodar, is a very very good movie. Sadly, I fell alseep during some of it, but not because of the movie. Ms. Cruz should stick to doing films in her native tongue, it's much easier to appreciate that she can act. Anyway, it's the usual cleverness you expect from Almovodar, who has this uncanny ability to take serious subjects and make them light, and occasionally hysterical. this is no TALK TO HER, but this is great filmmaking.

*Also great filmmaking is the animated HAPPY FEET, which I took my Penguin crazy girlfriend to see yesterday morning. It's smart, paced VERY well for a children's movie, and has top notch animation. And Hugh Jackman pretending to be an Elvis Penguin. SOLD. This movie was a good time and highly suggested for small folks and their larger relatives.

*Special kudos to Dan Hamill, who via his sister, hooked the DeSanto family up with a dinner res at Delposto to celebrate Frank Classic's birthday. Again, it was the out of this world awesome that we encountered for the F&G birthday extravaganza in August. We were seated at a table next to Anne Hathaway and a group of like 10 young Eye-Talian men. If you read US Magazine, this makes sense. Anyway, I reccommend the Agnolotti, which comes as no surprise to anyone who dines with me on any coast. Here is your hero, looking suave. Mostly I posted this for the relatives who never believe I can actually dress up:



*Within the musical portion of the MOGpac, there has been much discussion of late about the shocking amount of reissues. I literally have bought more reissues this year than I have bought new music in the last 3. Serial. I thought at first I was old, then I realized that most new music blows tremendously, especially in this, the year of the musical disappointment. Some of these reissues are awesome, i.e. Pulp and The Cure, some are fucking brilliant, i.e. The Mission, some are not too bad, i.e. The Sisters, and some are so-so, i.e. Depeche (bar the DVD docs) and some coming up are just shit ideas, i.e. YET MORE Depeche and u2 best ofs (Come ON!). However, the Manics 3 disc 10th anniversary edition of their classic EVERYTHING MUST GO will be occupying me for weeks and appear for sure at my year end awards. If there is such a thing as TOO much for a reissue this is it, but going through it as I type, it's actually quite quality. The 3rd disc is a DVD, and well worth the investment for the documentary. This is comprehensive and enjoyable as fuck and highly recommended. I do however, look forward to the insane 3 CD George Michael reissue next week, which celebrates his 25 years in the music business. Yeah, he's known more now for being off his tits, but the man's body of work is sick and I love the guy. I saw him at MSG for FAITH, and he's one of the best. Ever.

TRANSPORTER 2 is on HBO, gotta run!

xoxo

F

Why 24 will OWN in 07.

Besides watching Lurch mark out for Powers Boothe, my money is on Morris O'Brien this season!



Summary: Morris is back at CTU, working beside his ex-wife Chloe. Morris is a gallant around the ladies which annoys Chloe. Over the course of the day, Morris and Chloe will to put their differences aside but secrets from his past and a possible drinking problem may get in the way of any imminent reconciliation

This is tough even for me...

Vince Neil, lead singer of Motley Crue, told ABC News Radio that two big names are being lined up to play past rock legends who had dealings with the famous band reports Film Stalker.

Based on the tell-all confessional "The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band", the book catalogued the drug and alcohol abuse, nasty infighting, and sex parties of Neil and band mates Tommy Lee, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx.

Christopher Walken is tipped to cameo as rock god Ozzy Osbourne who toured with Motley Crue and was friends with the band. Val Kilmer is also apparently set to play Dave Lee Roth.

Dan Hamill and A Camel

Avy's Vision Thing....

Posted By:F.J.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

With the release of the Sisters Of Mercy reissues, I thought it would be touching to send a copy of VISION THING to Dr. Fury because our friendship truly began when that tour rolled into town in 1990. He wanted to see Danielle Dax but he quickly became a Sisters fan, and from this gig came the idea to start the band that would begin as MOG but eventually devolve into the aggression. In my note to him, I mentioned playing this album for his kids, and like a true friend and a good father, he has complied. Therefore, I am proud to present the first ever MOGworld Blog video, starring Avy as he gets his first taste of music that is not Elmo. This is what I call good parenting!

Also note that my favourite part is the very last second of the video when he takes a swing at the camera. The goth angst starts here!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MATT!! CALL ME!

"Listen, bitch, your second album is shite"

Let me show you how it's done, boy.

2-9

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

HAN!

This might be the best magazine article I have ever read in my entire life. I'm not kidding. This is a must read for any MOGpacker.

http://nymag.com/guides/money/2006/23465/index.html?imw=Y

F

Updater

To much to type, too much to catch up on, but here are the highlights:

1. Essential listening are the SISTERS reissues of the three albums, complete with bonus tracks never before on CD, some of which are Mr. Hussey's finest. Great packaging (Despite the typos) and a super reminder of how awesome this band was until about 10 years ago. My apologies to Brandt, and especially Matt, who have had to listen to me go through each CD and hear what is missing, what's not, etc. Speaking of Matt...

2. Has anyone seen or heard from Matt since Reese Witherspoon announced her divorce? Exactly.

3. Essential viewing will probably be BORAT, which will be written up on this blog soon.

4. Not essential viewing is MARIE ANTOINETTE, which is the biggest cinematic let down of the year. Devoid of all of the character rich material of her previous works, Sofia just seems interested in capturing beautiful visuals of snaggletooth in France. A huge disappointment.

5. Special thanks to my "writing team" of Lurch and Evan. That might be explained later. Hopefully.

6. Halloween was spent in the studio, more on that in a second, but man, kids are awesome. lets look at two such awesome kids right now from San Diego:



7. The Hypefactor album takes leaps forward as your hero throws down the F-bass on a regular basis. Last night, I laid down my parts for a track formerly known as EXIST now called THE SUBTLE DISTINCTION (thanks Saintface). Other tracks finally have titles, to be revealed later. Also a new track emerges that might pop up when you don't expect it.

Anyhow I hope you are all well, thank you for the Halloween well wishes. I hope you ate your fucking candy!

F

J/J

This morning, Variety tells me this: "Martial arts movie masters Jackie Chan and Jet Li will battle on the big screen for the first time in a new movie set to start filming in April. Acclaimed action choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping will guide the fight sequences".

I've heard this was brewing for quite awhile, as far back as when I was in Jackie's agents office years ago pitching, well, the very same idea. Anyhow. On paper, it's exciting, but I'm told it's a "family" film, which is kinda wack considering you want these two to beat the fuck out of each other. Anyway, I haven't seen Jackie's new one yet (cause its not out on DVD), and while Jackie for me the single most important filmmaker of my life, I hold very little against him. Hopefully this will kick ass.

F

The First Of Joy

Congrats to my old friend Chris Connelly and his wife on the birth of thier son: Angus Tucker Michael Connelly. I'm glad the baby is blessed with the name "Tucker" and not "Jourgensen". Just saying.

IN-GENUINE

Friends, how are you? Have you missed me? I've been too busy watching Borat deleted scenes on Youtube, no thanks to Chad, but now need to catch up on the things that go on here in this crazy world of MOG.

I've been just about living in the studio at the moment, though I am just a tiny cog in an abode filled with frightening amounts of musical and photography gear. And a dog that got its white fucking hair all over my new jacket. Not pleased. But we have been eating Shabu and donuts while drinking Kurosawa sake, hammering the new tune into shape, and doing loads of bass overdubs. It's nice to spend hours just playing the old Thunderbird in the hook style. It equals fun progress and re-playing stuff written a while ago gives B and I room to improve on the parts, so they will be much improved in both performance and sound quality compared to the demos. I really like playing against the awesome Charlton Creston Low End (tm). There's a cool dynamic there that I think can be translated with much success on the live stage. Anyhow, we're getting there, and it's awesome listening to new versions of the Ipod and seeing how far the quality has jumped in the last year.

Meanwhile, there is the occasional social fun, which included our going to see THE PRESTIGE last weekend. I really dig this movie. Chris Nolan is without a doubt of my favourite directors working in Hollywood and that was long before I met him on his last movie. Basically, THE PRESTIGE is about pro wrestling (though here they use something called "magic"). Batman plays Brian Pillman and Wolverine plays Bret Hart. I'm joking of course, but the similarities between the goings on in the world of magic and our great sport was shocking enough for Dan Hamill to text me during the movie to say so. Completely by coincidence,, this very same comparison was just made on the respected publication The Wrestling Observer (To which we have subscribed since the GOLD STREET ERA). Because it is a period piece about magic, THE PRESTIGE is going to be compared to THE ILLUSIONIST, another movie I liked a lot, but I have to side with the genius of Nolan here. The storytelling is just super and the actors are first rate. Dan Hamill was very pleased to see the IN-GENUINE Piper Perabo in her long awaited "comeback" role. And you know Nolan is a genius when he can make Hollywood Scarlett passable!

I have more to tell you, but now comics need to be bought.

THANK FUCK.

http://24trailer.com/

I Stand Corrected...

I've made a terrible mistake. In the last few years, I have been one of the few people to say "let them close CBGB's". I mean, why keep it around? No one good plays there, the sound is terrible, the place is falling apart, etc. I couldn't even tell you the last time I was even there for a gig (I'm seriously drawing a blank). Hell, crap like The Hold Steady doesn't even play there. Now, granted, I have great memories of playing there with the aggression, and some significant moments in my young life happened there (introducing myself to the Councilwoman for the fist time comes to mind), but to me, it was "let it die" and I saw no reason to fight. This was much to the consternation of my lady friend, who once travelled significant miles to see yours truly peform there, and who, though newer to NY than I, has a deep appreciation of the culture that I may have been taking for granted. Even a recent SNL sketch that pariodied Lou Reed and Patti Smith wasn't even funny or enough to get me to think.

The other night, while in a taxi, I went by the venue, which now looks tiny next to the NYU dorm and new apartment building the surround it and will probably engulf it in the next month. I began to have a strong realization that I may have been looking at this the wrong way. But what really knocked me on my ass was seeing my beloved Music Palace (the legendary Chinese movie theatre), being torn down after laying dormant for many years. This wasn't about losing a venue or a movie theatre, it was about New York losing just more pieces of it's culture for the sake of Real Estate. It's the same reason almost none of my friends actually live in New York City anymore and have retreated to Harlem and Queens and why I have to take two trains to the studio in Brooklyn every week. It's why all the places I used to eat at, like Bel Vilagio and Say Eng Look are gone. The culture I grew up with is slowly being erased from the map. And I put it in the perspective of my nephew, who claims he will someday live here and visit us for dinner every night. I thought how he won't get to meet someone who could become one of his best friends at CB's or how his band won't drink with some homeless guys across the street at the long forgotten bodega or how a girl won't have the opportunity to explain to him why she and one of his best friends got engaged after knowing each other for a few days (that's a true story kids, ask Nina Link!). And worst of all, he will probably never see a Jackie Chan movie on the big screen. Instead of a music venue for young bands to cut their teeth, there's a fucking dorm for punk asses from ohio to pretend they are New Yorkers for 4 years (which, now of course, irony of ironies, will be where my nephew is assigned to live when he starts NYU in a decade).

I think part of my initial not giving a shit was based on my refusal to be stuck in the past or to appear, as Lurch would say, progressive (he never actually said that). I don't want to be a relic of "Old New York" or some Lou Reed character, but these places and things helped mold me and is why I am in this city for the rest of my life. Yes, I probably never would have gone to CB's ever again, but the thought of it being there was secure enough. It's my mistake and I was very very wrong. I don't understand why CB's has to go when shit holes down the block, like Pheobes, one of the worst bars ever, still remains. And shit like Crash Mansion? Come on.

While I love the fact that I can walk the Bowery with an 8 year old and not be scared as I had been as a 12 year old sneaking down to see Hong Kong movies, I can't shake the fact that everything I consider culture is being slowly erased as time goes on. What can I teach my nephew? What will I teach my own kid years from now? I'm gonna be and already am the "you know what used to be here when I was a kid?" guy. Fuck. Actually, I honestly miss the UNDERWORLD on Bleeker and bway even more (thats for you oldschoolers!)

F

Apologies for the Lack of Hype

Greetings from the studio, where Brandt and I find ourselves once again slaving away over the songs that someday you might own. I can't promise when, but I can promise it will be better than the Hold Steady. As I type, Brandt is doing his damndest to make sure a guitar part sounds awesome when played backwards. So far it does...

Because of my recent Uncle Duty and Hold Steady Ranting, I have been delinquent in updating you on my musical adventures. I have been spending many a day and night at Brandt's continuing to drive the seriously snowballing momentum that is the Hypefactor album. For the last few weeks we have consumed ourselves with this album. Yes, we have been working on it for many years, but honestly, with a new studio, new gear and some new tricks up our sleeves comes the the mutual desire to bring this album to a new and exciting level. That has led to some songs being scrapped (mostly cause Ash lost one) or completely overhauled all in the name of quality.

But that quality doesn't happen easily and nor does it come without help. In recent weeks, we have seen the Ass Cobras (minus the drummer, on whom we are waiting for the right moment to bring in) venture down to Marcy Avenue to bring the necessary talent and advice to take HF to a whole new level. Last week, Charles brought his fine self in to lay down the important low end on a newer song, the mostly electronic DON'T DREAM, JUST SCHEDULE, which will be the album's centerpiece, and he re-did his bass on the album's opener, THE MORNING AFTER THE LIFE BEFORE. You can just hear the quality rise with each note this guy plucked on the bass. Grooves to move your ass. You gotta love it.

Meanwhile, Ash has been here twice in 3 weeks to help us crack the album's newest song, the tech-rocker, Azumi (yes, named after the movie for the moment because I had just met the film's director the day I started working on it), which saw the three of us jamming parts of it out on guitars one session and then, last night, tackling the electronics in new ways that most won't expect from us. We're also making the effort to write in keys we never have before, in weird ways and the results are exciting (not that know what half of what I'm doing). Anyhow, the first session with Ash revolved around trying to do some electronics, which weren't working, so we switched to guitars and nailed the chorus and bridge. Further work saw B get the verses up to speed while I fiddled nonstop with the arrangement, which I would trade back and forth with B via IM (we now supposedly have our own server to save us tons of time!)

The second session with Ash took place last night and began with a nice round of beers and burgers at the awesome Dumont. There we discussed mostly Depeche Mode, which led to the three of us sitting in B's living room watching the DVD Docu that accompanies the reissue of everyone's favourite album SONGS OF FAITH AND DEVOTION. We hoped it would give us some inspiration and sure enough it did as Ash went house on the electronics in Azumi and took it to a new place, much to our delight. Now, as I type, a day later, the fruits of Ash's labour begin to blossom as B and I take turns in front of the computer trying out new arrangements and sound design. Your hero has even jotted down a few vocal melodies. Who knows, but I think this tune is a fucking winner. Dear Peter Saintface, please understand this is why I missed your show last night. You too, Murray. SORRY.

Each moment brings us a little bit closer to the end. It's very enjoyable time to be in Hypefactor. Someone tell Robin to get ready for my call. xoxo

F

Hold Still...

I take great “offence” to a post written about your hero on the often ignored and utterly forgettable (often by its own author) blog known as “Ride The Liger”, a title, I might add, that was inspired by the small nephew you occasionally see on this very blog.

The extremely un-Tyler Durden like (meaning: dull and uncreative) title of the entry is “Something FRANK Should Like (But Probably Won’t)” and it is written by MOGpac member James Hambrick, whom you known as Lurch. This is in regards to my supposed lack (read: having good taste) of appreciation/interest in the Last Days Of Disco’s favourite band, The Hold Steady, of whom I vehemently oppose the very existence of for several reasons (beyond the fact that they love them THAT much and someone has to bust balls). Let me explain why:

1. They are American. (I have allowed myself to love only ONE American musician, and that is Greg Dulli).

2. They are old and unattractive. Call me gay, but I want to love my bands on a homoerotic level. My friends like them because they dress worse than anyone we know. I could deal with the old if they knew how to dress. I could deal with the dress if they were young. I could deal with both if the music was good.

3. They have beer cozies. PLEASE. I feel you posted that almost to incite me to violence (You DID, fucker!)

4. I don’t believe that Dan Hamill himself actually wrote the quote "terrific storytellers with a keen sense of humor whose favorite topics include the misfits and the marginalized of their respective environments." Simply because he has no idea what words like “marginalized” or “respective” mean, unless the Kidd was helping him write this, but then that doesn’t explain the use of the word “keen”.

5. They are a band designed to appeal to mid thirties men who live in Queens with younger roommates who play online games screaming “MELEE ATTACK BONUS!! TROLL TROLL!” in their headset at all hours and then claim to have a girlfriend “In New Jersey”.

6. While typing this, I again tried to listen to the HOLD STEADY, I, in fact, listened to two albums, and I am even more offended than before that people I supposedly respect actually like this band and that I am not respected enough by them to think I would like this. The singer slurs like an American Black 47 and that is not a compliment. I will however give points for anything called “Stevie Nix” This music might work best in a bar in Astoria going out on a Thursday night with a friend named “Rory”, but please, to actually PAY for this? Dear Lord. You call this “impossibly catchy”? I call this impossible to stay awake listening to this.

That being said, I can appreciate why you like them. I totally get it. Also, I’m sure the live show is “fun” and when one of you buys me a ticket and if wrestling is not on (I am NOT set in my ways, goddammit!), I will go with an open mind to this gig, as long is it near my house, so I don’t waste too much time and travel “expense”. I don’t leave NYC, except for Dulli or John Cale. If you ask me to go to a Fridays to drink sangria or some queer cocktail before the gig (which is kind of a cool gimmick), the deal is off.

There is nothing I want more in this world than to be wrong about a band I don’t like. The Killers backfired. I am willing to be proven wrong and I am willing to be taken to the live show. I will gladly apologize on this very blog should I enjoy the band. The challenge is out, and the challenge was always there.

Now, I felt Lurch’s entry got entirely way too personal and I, being someone who never makes things too personal, or takes things too personally, I will now use this forum to retaliate against the false claims:

If I were opposed to “new things”, Lurch would be working at Lee Hi Truck Stop down in Lexington Va, serving Stan Kruger his breakfast every morning, Danny Hamill wouldn’t have a passport (or at least never would have seen Duran Duran), Evan would never get to make jokes about my hair with famous comic book writers, The Kidd would be living with Bednar, and Paul would be MOGpac. Also, we’d be 300 lbs after eating Pluck U every Monday for 10 years straight. I would also not like women, Lucky Jeans, Kasabian, Vincent Gallo, Mexican Food, and text messaging. I am also a sneaker whore. I am not opposed to new things, I am opposed to crap. The Hold Steady is crap.

In fact, I am so new that babies are old. For the record, I am not middle aged, unless I plan to die young, which is certainly an option (especially to sell records). It worked for the aggression with Mark, why not give Brandt the same benefit with Hypefactor?

The biggest disappointment in this entire “ordeal” is that “a friend’ would spend all this time writing about yours truly when he should be writing about how much he appreciates that, in the early 90’s, your hero dragged him out of the obscurity that is TGIFridays and brought him straight to the top. Yes, what I brought him to the top of isn’t quite clear and if his life is better for it is totally debatable, but that’s semantics. He would be Jim Hess’ house boy or something, that’s no secret, and he would probably know nothing about Asian cinema, comic books, good food (that’s kind of a lie, but I gotta say something) professional wrestling, industrial music, Vincent Gallo, The Stewart Manor Pansies, and at least 73 other awesome things associated with me. I’d go further if my nephew didn’t look up to the guy. Anyhow, the only thing this fucker has EVER done for me was sneak me an mp3 of the Ani Difranco/Jackie Chan duet. Yes, I am indebted, but come on. At least Evan gives me comics!

But honestly, Lurch, without me, the following photo would not be funny to you:



Checkmate.

So in closing, I ask you this question, and when I say “you”, you know whom I am asking: When you say “Danny”, do you mean “Earth 1 Danny” or “Earth 2 Danny”, cause the difference is ginormous and might require medical help.

I would never admit to Lurch in person that I am pleased he is finally writing on that godforsaken blog again and that I am thoroughly entertained. Because without it, how would I get to write such “clever” and “entertaining” entries like this?

Check his shit hot blog at:

http://ridetheliger.blogspot.com/

And for the record, he hasn’t banned Anus Mcanus. Just saying.

F

"It's Tuesday, Gimme The Box Office Numbers!!"

SHE DID IT!!

So, Vik (who goes under many different names on this blog) has become the first friend to venture into POLITICS. Now, I'm just a musician, but it's pretty sweet to know that when I get arrested in Zone 10 next time, I can drop the name that's gonna get me off the hook. How fucking awesome is this that Vikki has once again stepped up to the plate and made shit happen. I cant wait till she becomes president and has Depeche Mode play the national anthem (or something).

Twofer Thursday

On to new business. I have found myself at the cinema quite a bit this week, checking out movies you might want to go see down the line. As usual, I am here to shoot you the straight shit and tell you what the fuck is up...

BABEL is the most depressing movie ever made on the planet Earth. It makes CRASH seem like THE WEDDING CRASHERS. There's not one moment of hope in this film. Ever. No one in this movie (and there are a lot of characters), seem to ever catch a break. This is a movie about unlucky fuckers. It's extremely well directed and acted. That doesn't mean I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean it's bad either. I was cringing the entire time. I will never see this movie again, I never even want to think of this movie ever again, and I can't even suggest you go see it either. Rarely has a movie hurt me like this did. It was two hours plus of massive discomfort. I could only take occasional solace in the scenes shot in Tokyo and it did have the best line, which was a detective saying "Another Shochu". Did I mention that Cate Blanchette spends the entire movie half dead and covered in blood and is still the best actress on the planet? After I finish this sentence I will try to forget this movie forever, despite the poster on the phonebooth in front of my building.

THE DEPARTED on the other hand, is an easy to digest, enjoyable moviegoing experience. Yes, we know it's a remake of the shit hot HK classic INFERNAL AFFAIRS and while no one can ever top that movie, or it's leads, Andy Lau and Tony Leung, this is nevertheless awesome fucking filmmaking and great entertainment. What a cast!! Dicaprio (actually good!), Damon (always good!), Sheen (Martin! just to be clear), and fucking Whalberg eats up every scene he's in. And what can I say about Nicholson. It's great to see him fucking ACT, cause he spends the entire movie teetering on the edge but tempers himself like such a pro that he never ventures into Johnny Marr territory (aka parody, via Ash circa 2004). The excitment flowing through Dan Hamill upon learning that Alec Baldwin was in this was off the charts. He was rewarded for his enthusiasm. But the killer casting, which i didnt know about, was when RAY FUCKING WINSTONE appears on the screen, thats when Danny, Lurch and I knew we were in for a good time. Frank DeSanto Senior popped so hard during the ending of this film that I thought he was going to laugh himself all the way back to the Manor. Scorcese deserves tons of praise for making something so interesting yet commercially entertaining. This movie also succeeds on proper nonstop uses of words like "cunt", "cocksucker" and contains lots of blood and repeated face punching. Smart filmmaking, great acting, super story. This is his best movie (IN MY HONEST OPINION of course) since Goodfellas. Enjoy.

F

Killed.

OK, this will be my final entry in my total burial of the killers, but Irene pointed out to me their SNL performance, which features every single problem I have with this lame ass band:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwfxLDBVyJM

Watch. Look for the guy in the back, look at My Name Is Earl on drums, look at the trannie on guitar, look at Kruger on bass, look how weak and stiff B-No is. He so lame he makes Moby look like Serge Pizzorno. It's OVER.

Ok, unless they do something even MORE stupid, this is the last of my anti-Killers rants. Its more out of sheer disappointment than anything, kids. I don't want to hate ANYthing, I'm not a shit fan, and I'm not a fan of shit. And this, my friend is shit.

Hey, so I heard the new KILLERS album and here's my review: KASABIAN is album of the year, official!

Ok super!

F

"PORN WITH MORALS"

Dear Last Days Of Disco: I still don't understand what happened the other night but I'm pretty sure the evening was directed by Terry Gilliam or as G put it, booked by Vince Russo (though if Russo had booked it, Lurch would have slept with BOTH of the chicks he had been set up with). If this is what the Last Days of Disco do, I am happy to provide the occasional cameo, and then retire home to my girlfriend and Lego Star Wars 2 and what Brandt calls my "FUCKING COMIC BOOK WRITING". I'm sure we will be discussing this in detail at our writers brunch or during our usual Monday Night fun, but grife!! I learned many things that evening, none of it good, most of it great, none of it about myself or about you guys, but some of it about the different degrees of Baltika, a beer made for me. I would also call that evening a success, a laugh riot, and the invite is appreciated...

See you on the fake friends tour ;-) (sorry that makes no sense to you readers, but the Last Days Trio will get that). As that kid The Kidd would say "HARSH, FRANK".

Keep it crooked (worst laugh ever)

F

Qui GONE

It's a year plus later and I'm still pissed off about Episode 3....



On the isolated asteroid of Polis Massa, YODA meditates.

YODA: Failed to stop the Sith Lord, I have. Still much to learn, there is ...

QUI -GON: (V.O.) Patience. You will have time. I did not. When I became one with the Force I made a great discovery. With my training, you will be able to merge with the Force at will. Your physical self will fade away, but you will still retain your consciousness. You will become more powerful than any Sith.

YODA: Eternal consciousness.

QUI-GON: (V.O.) The ability to defy oblivion can be achieved, but only for oneself. It was accomplished by a Shaman of the Whills. It is a state acquired through compassion, not greed.

YODA: . . . to become one with the Force, and influence still have . . . A power greater than all, it is.

QUI-GON: (V.O.) You will learn to let go of everything. No attachment, no thought of self. No physical self.

YODA: A great Jedi Master, you have become, Qui-Gon Jinn. Your apprentice I gratefully become.

YODA thinks about this for a minute, then BAIL ORGANA enters the room and breaks his meditation.

BAIL ORGANA: Excuse me, Master Yoda. Obi-Wan Kenobi has made contact.

Later, on the Alderaan Starcruiser:

YODA: (continuing) Master Kenobi, wait a moment. In your solitude on Tatooine, training I have for you.

OBI-WAN: Training??

YODA: An old friend has learned the path to immortality.

OBI-WAN: Who?

YODA: One who has returned from the netherworld of the Force to train me . . . your old Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

OBI-WAN: Qui-Gon? But, how could he accomplish this?

YODA: The secret of the Ancient Order of the Whills, he studied. How to commune with him. I will teach you.

OBI-WAN: I will be able to talk with him?

YODA: How to join the Force, he will train you. Your consciousness you will retain, when one with the Force. Even your physical self, perhaps.

In the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover, the meditation scene is thus:

With my help, you can learn to join with the Force, yet retain conciousness. You can join your light to it forever. Perhaps in time, even your physical self.

Yoda did not move. "Eternal life..."

The ultimate goal of the Sith, yet they can never achieve it; it comes only by the release of self, not the exaltation of self. It comes through compassion, not greed. Love is the answer to darkness.

"Become one with the Force, yet influence still to have..." Yoda mused. "A power greater than all, it is."

It cannot be granted; it can only be taught. It is yours to learn, if you wish it.

Slowly, Yoda nodded. "A very great Jedi master you have become, Qui-Gon Jinn. A very great Jedi Master you always were, but too blind I was to see it."

He rose, and folded his hands before him, and inclined his head in the Jedi bow of respect.

The bow of the student, in the presence of the Master.

"Your apprentice, I gratefully become."

He was well into his first lesson when the hatch cycled opened behind him.

Yoda tells Obi-Wan he won't be quite alone on Tatooine:

When Obi-Wan moved to follow, Yoda's gimer stick barred his way. "A moment, Master Kenobi. In your solitude on Tatooine, training I have for you. I and my new Master."

Obi-Wan blinked. "Your new Master?"

"Yes." Yoda smiled up at him. "and your old one..."

LOOK FOR THE HIDDEN GUITARIST (with MY NAME IS EARL bonus)

Webster Fall

The sun shines on a lovely Sunday morning at MOGworld as I prepare to head down to the studio for what will certainly be a productive day. We're very close on cracking this new song, the former CREATION PHASE and the current AZUMI (yes, named after the movie cause I had just met the director when I started writing it). This song, some remixing, and something new related to the world of comics has taken up most of my creative energy, but here I am, your hero, again ready to give you the score...

It was an interesting week as Brandt and I put our musical adventures aside and took our significant others to see two very different gigs at the same location, the dreaded Webster Hall. The first gig, KASABIAN, was obviously highly anticipated as it would be the first outing of the new mateiral from EMPIRE and the other, THE KILLERS, was a last minute "secret" show previewing songs from their forthcoming album SAM's TOWN.

Let me say there is one thing I learned from this experience is that Webster Hall is the absolute worst place on the planet Earth. Not the venue itself, which is a nice size, has a good sound system, etc. but the douches that go to this place amazes even a hardened New Yorker such as myself. Had either of these gigs been at Irving Plaza or Roseland or any place else, I don't think half the douches would be there (especially at The Killers). It's like they let the dorms out of Jersey and the suburbs and told the kids to go to their first Bar Mitzvah. Seriously, this venue, no matter what the band is, brings out the worst people on the planet Earth. At least the Kasabian gig had the X-Pats (who always make a gig that much better), but the Killers gig, forget it. I seriously thought this was an NYU freshman orientation gathering. Anyway, the music, please....

I am biased towards Kasabian. Yes you have read it here so many times, you KNOW. Well, theyre a bit different than the last go around. They have a new guitarist, an AMERICAN no less, and he's kind of a tool. Oh, he plays fine and actually brings a nice added set of balls to the proceedings (which works well for the new songs), but he kinda rocks out, well, like an American, and that makes him kind of annoying. But happily the new songs work well and to open with a song no one in America has heard yet (the forthcoming single SHOOT THE RUNNER), and to turn it into a bluesy rock jam is balls. Respect. They wisely played a smart combination of the first two albums, and while Brandt missed the fact that they didnt play any b-sides this evening, I think its early in the Empire process and they have an album to sell. You know they'll be back. The new songs were a real treat live, especially the tunes I'm into like SUNRISE, and BY MY SIDE. They played B's new fave, THE LAST TRIP and that was a train of awesome. The sight of Serge dancing sans guitar to PROCESSED BEATS is a keeper right there and Tom Kasabian has taken quite a few tips from Liam as he's much more laid back (and off the drugs), and is still an earnest frontman. Yes they kept the drummer which to me was the crucial element to any future Kasabian success. Wisely, the band never left the stage and played straight through their encore, which was great as they had super momentum. The new guy played bass on CLUB FOOT, and was less of a tool because the crowd went nuts for it and I guess he was more focused on the bass, but then they went into a bliding fucking best ever version of STUNTMAN you will ever hear. And as soon as they finished with LSF the first thing Irene and I started to discsuss was going to the UK to see them when they announce Wembley (cause theyre GONNA, you know). Anyhow, simply put, fave band comes through yet again and doesn't disappoint playing new material.

Two days later, we were back at this scumbag magnet venue for B-Flo. I'm going to keep this one simple. I like The Killers. I was late to the game on the first album until Irene started playing it a few years ago and I thought, hey this isn't bad. Plus B-Flo is a nice bitchy interview and if I'm spending 5 bucks a week on the NME, i want that. I actually agree with him most of the time as he seems to have been raised on musical diet that I can relate to. I honestly never got the Duran comparisons but thats just me. Anyhow, Ash sums their first album up perfectly when he says "there are six great songs". Anyhow, my interest in the follow up album would be casual, but their extremely smart idea to bring in Flood and Alan Moulder to produce the album suddenly makes this record anticipated.

So the venue is decked out in some wild west casino bullshit (ok, youre from from Vegas we get that), and they come out looking like, well, some wild west casino bullshit, complete with really poor facial hair and, in B-flo's case, shit haircuts. Now, I'm not a guy who bases his musical interests on looks (though the aggression WERE handsome), but this was extremely distrating. During the first songs (which was new) I'm immediately shocked by several things: one and importantly, B-Flo is about as cool as my cousin singing Karaoke in the suburbs, two: the guitarist looks like a chick in drag and actually isn't very good, three: the drummer IS My Name is Earl (and I swear on my mom when I tell you I heard at least 5 people say this while walking out of the gig), though I felt he was more John Riley in Boogie NIghts (YOU GOT THE TOUCH!), and the bassist is Kruger if he stayed in music. Anyhow, again, I'm talking looks, which is wrong, so lets get into the music. The new songs are ok I guess, it seems more of the same, but with some more cheese added to it. I honestly have to hear the album before I totally write these guys off, but I feel Flood will come through. Live, the band is pretty standard, nothing super, nothing terrible, though when they play the hits, the energy level rises and they have the confidence to back that up. But nothing grabbed me here, nothing made me love them and I so wanted to, but then, during the second song, we discovered THE WORST:

Hidden behind the bass rig is ANOTHER musician. He is sometimes playing keyboards, he is often playing guitar, he is better looking than the rest of the band, he is ROCKING OUT, but most of all he is TALLER than the bass rig, so there, the entire gig is this guy (who we believe was the session guy who played bass for Garbage for a lot of years) basically backing up all their shit. BEHIND A RIG and never acknowledged. When Kasabian had their new guitarist, they gave him a nice little mention, but this guy? Forget it. He's actually a better guitar player than the guitar player. This was the most insincere shit I have ever seen in my life. Is this band so insecure that they can't acknowledge another musician backing them up? If someone is helping you present your music live on stage, you acknowledge them, you respect them, you don't throw them behind a rig hoping people won't see. Wow. Even if they played every gig after with this guy at the front of the stage, this band has lost me. I can't respect that, though if I had known better, I would have done that with Kieran (I'm kidding, don't Email me complaining, its a joke). This was truly the shit friend action. I just can't respect this band.

Anyhow, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there, the people were disgusting, the band was frustrating and it made me wish we had gone to a few more Kasabian gigs. Anyhow, fast forward a bit and last night we saw JACKASS 2, which was so beyond sick I couldn't handle it. Irene, who is a huge mark for Jackass (though her mom is a bigger mark), almost vomited twice and poor Danny spent 11 dollars (of my money) to cover his eyes for 90 minutes. Me? I just laughed and thought how lucky I am to be alive cause if they had this (and hardcore wrestling) around when I was a kid, I would be a lot less healthier (and Danny would be dead). Everyone walked out of this movie in silence as it just beats you into submission. This is a good thing.

And now, the tunes...

F

Back It Up

Please please PLEASE forgive my lack of communication. While some of you may think I have been delinquent, or even, dare I say, shitty, you who truly know of course neither is the case. Upon my return from Los Angeles I was shocked to learn that our internet had taken a dive. Luckily, it was just a burnt modem, so here we are back in business at the world of MOG. Now with Fresh New Net! So let's not delay any further and find out where things are at:

Los Angeles was again a nice place to visit. I truly suggest staying at the Bel Age hotel off of Sunset. It was the top notch. A huge room, very comfortable and it allowed me to work on the tunes out on the balcony and to entertain guests such as Dr. Fury himself and our favourite Business Affairs Exec. Work was productive, the downtime gave me musical opportunities, and the weather co-operated. Good friends were in abundance as friends both far and near all seemed to be in LA that week. A highlight was spending an afternoon at Mel's Diner on Sunset with one Ethan Novak, he formerly of Acumen and the man responsible for the drums on the aggression's masterpiece, FLOOD. Ethan is a solid guy who works his ass off and I respect him lots and lots. I'm excited to have yet another comrade on the West Coast.

Anyhow, New York is again a better place to live. I actually felt a tinge of regret when leaving LA this time, though that's probably because of the hotel and Irene's mom's cooking), but as proven time and time again, I will kiss the ground of my beloved city which steals my heart everytime I see its skyline. Sleep has been at a premium, but I have again found the time to record shop (I strongly urge you all NOW to seek out the new Pulp reissues, as well as the reissue of John Cale's classic Paris 1919), and do the things I do here.

Sunday was class reunion day as Nitzer Ebb played down the block. Once again, the industrial brings people like Rob Fab (the aggression's label boss), and Todd Ryan (aggression's A&R) down to the city. They asked for burgers and I pointed their way to the Spurs on Houston. They were happy lads. Despite the aggression costing Rob Fab thousands he will never recoup, he still bought your hero a burger. Sugar. You know who to sign with, next big young industrial band that I will never listen to!

Anyhow, we had a mini reunion as the Brooklyn contingency: Ash, Matt and Brandt, made their way in for the NE gig. Running into the Saintface lads is always a good experionce. I of course came early to see my old comrade Bryan Black perform with his new band, MOTOR, who brought the techno to Irving. I can't lie to you, I like NE, but I don't love them the way Vikki or Leo, or Matt does (he is THE hardocre or hardcore, which I respect). I came to see what it was all aboot and it was good, but not enough to sustain my interest for more than an hour. So when that hour was up, Ash, Brandt, and later Irene, joined me for a few drinks at Shades of Green, most famous for what forever is known as the "Wayne Hussey Night", but that's for the biography, not the blog. This was a good evening of good friends catching up and plotting, scheming and all those things we do as they pertain to our musical lives.

I'm sorry this is so short, but I'm dozing and need to be well rested. Why? Well, for the live return of Kasabian tomorrow! ARRRR! NICE.