HAN SOLO, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS TABLE UNTIL YOU EAT ALL YOUR MYNOCK SOUP!

I've been somewhat quiet about my all time favourite passion, STAR WARS, as of late (at least online), but two things have inspired me to write:

1. The Maker himself, George Lucas, was the guest on (Dan Hamill's favourite neighbor/womanizer) Charlie Rose last night, presumably to promote the release of the Star Wars Original Trilogy DVD's (aka Matt Gentile's new excuse to act like a Diva). Charlie seemed quite thrilled to have Lucas on "for the ENTIRE HOUR", and Lucas was, well, Lucas. I'm kinda torn about how I feel about the ENTIRE HOUR I spent watching this because it basically had nothing to do with Star Wars and more to do with Lucas' relationship with Francis Ford Coppola and the era of filmmaking they came from. Now I normally don't have an issue with that, and I was excited to see a side of Lucas I hadn't seen before (learning about his work in education was very interesting and his decision to raise his family instead of making movies for many years was just as fascinating to hear), but I was disappointed with Charlie's inability to go through the entire spectrum of Lucas career (no mention of the INDY movies, TUCKER, etc). The interview seemed to focus on Lucas' life/career until Star Wars and then briefly went over the freedoms the success of STAR WARS had given (except when he got divorced, which was sad yet funny) and him basically saying he did the new SW movies to regain his financial independence. The chat then went deeply into art and how technology has evolved and what he WANTS to do as a filmmaker in the future, which again, was interesting. This would have been a great first ENTIRE hour for a two hour interview. What made this even worse was at the end Charlie seemed surprised the hour was up and started to fumble with a copy of the SW DVD box to promote it, but it was too late. I've seen james Liption do better. And my favourite part of the whole thing was when Lucas said "Now that STAR WARS is done...", which is utter bullshit, George! Speaking of which...

2. During the press junket for the Original Trilogy DVD's yesterday in LA, Mr. Skywalker himself, Mark "My name's not Dan" Hamill uttered words the following words that are now ringing across the galaxy (or at least the Internet): "They've just told me they're doing 7, 8, and 9". Listen to it here:

http://downloads.nexcess.net/comingsoon-hamill-swdvd1.mp3

He fucking SAYS this! Not an internet bullshit rumour, AND he says this while sitting directly next to Jim Ward, Lucas' hard ass commandant who tows the company line to the pont where I'm convinced he carries a cyanide capsule in a false tooth and would gladly swallow it and die in the name of Lucas then allow any info Episode 3 or future Lucas projects to be revealed. In fact, I believe he has probably killed a few people in the name of Lucas. Don't let the "nice suburban dad" look fool you. He is a bad ass and a half. See him here with Hamill:

http://comingsoon.net/nextraimages/swtrilogy2.jpg

Now let me explain something for the first time. Thanks to a certain journalist pally, yours truly, disgused as a freelancer for a young people's magazine, got to the NY version of this junket and from what I've read about yesterday it's basically the same dog and pony show I saw. However, from the pix I've seen of this LA event, it seems different in that Commandant Ward is seated with each guest, unlike when I went and the guests were (supposedly) given free reign. You should have seen the man's face when EMPIRE STRIKES BACK director Irvin Kirschner talked about how Lucas should only produce and never direct. PRICELESS. I'm sure yesterday was a very different story.

Anyhow, in a non-disclosed hotel in lower Manhattan, I signed a 6 page confidentiality agreement similar to the one I signed when being handed the Saintface album (which explains my lack of discussion about that record) and had to keep my mouth shut for several months. It expired, believe it or not, today (the Saintface agreement goes somewhat longer, I'll check with MOGlegal). Mark Hamill was the surprise guest when I went and he was nothing short of cool, funny and awesome. Anyhow, 7, 8, and 9; numbers we SW fans have long since cast aside, keep coming back to haunt us. For Hamill to say this at at Lucas controlled, *ahem*, I mean sponsored event, is some serious shit. In my twisted mind, Hamill was asked to slip this in to create buzz (it's just too obvious) or he was taken round back the silent movie threatre and had the snot beat out of him by Jim Ward for talking out of school.

I don't lose too much sleep over this stuff as I know Lucas (and his heirs) will be giving us SW long after my great grandchildren are in the grave, but if the elderly Lucas decides to grace us with another trilogy, I beg of him to hire Peter Jackson (who he has a great affinity towards) to direct. All I'm saying.

However, they have finally confirmed that they are giving us a SW TV series in the future. Live action. If it's a young Han Solo series, we're gonna have problems. And now, I'm going back to play Rebel Strike 3...Thanks Ev!

F