F: do the icelanders believe you now?
G: yeah, we´re cool now, speaking of MY asshole, last night i made empanadas and drank till 4 in the moriing. And while tasty, probably not the best mix, and i felt like crap this morning, and i had a tour that left at 7AM on what i though would be a bus with a bathroom but turned out to be a minivan without one...
F: oh christ
F: womens?
G: i hooked up for a bit w a Norwegian chick a few nights back, but would you like to hear the rest of my story
F: i would please
G: so the guide starts in about 5 minutes into the trip and he´s like, this is a 15 hr tour with few stops in between and we´re going to pretty remote places...and i now literally in my gut there is no way i can do this without shitting my pants, but i figure maybe i can do this...then he starts saying that at a good portion of the trip were gonna be at some crazy ass altitude and he highly recommends chewing on coca leaves (what they make cocaine from) to combat alltitude sickness...
F: oh boy, im laughing out loud at the moment
G: so at that point were about 15 in, and i could handle the coca leaf business if my mind and body were right, but i´m like shit, this coca leave business will probably just stimulate the shit right out of me. so i get up and tell the guy, dude, i´m really not feeling well and this thing has no bathroom...
F: LOLOLOL. Im so posting this
G: and he´s like, what do you want me to do. And I´m like well, i think you gotta stop and let me off. And he´s like but this is a bad hood. and i´m like normally that would give me pause, but not right now. so he says i don´t know if we´re gonna be able to find a bathroom around here. so i said, you know what, if you could just stop the van and call me a cab and i´ll just cut me losses. so that´s what he did. and i got back to the hostel and had my most humiliating shit to date
G: you are very silent...
F: im crying
G: i´m dan hamill
F: god bless you yes you are, can i post this
G: sure
F: was the norweigian there
G: no, she´s in boliva i think. that was back in iguazu falls, i´m in salta
F: did you find cerati
G: brb
F: WHAT? Where the fuck are you going?
G: need to pay the meter
F: what you have a car?
G: i´m at an internet cafe
F: with your car?
G: if i had a var i would have avoided the above story
F: true
G: car
F: did you feed your meter
G: fed
F: tell me about the norwegian
G: the only cerati story i have is that i went to a few cafes in buenos aires and i wasn´t that moved. not much local colour and the TV was playing U.S. pop with english subtitles, then i saw this place that kinda looked like a tapas bar and i went in and was greeted with the sounds of cerati on the stereo, and when i left about an hour and a half later i heard nothing but him. needless to say i enjoyed the place. it was obviously a mad local spot with the only toursit being me
F: thats the flavour of life
F: First Norwegian in 35 years!
G: not a ton to tell about the norwegian, just a drunken make out. besides, i need some stories to tell in person
F: ok. i have to go to lunch, but i will post your adventures
This is what imagine to be the visual interpretation of the story you have just read:
THURSDAY FOLLOW UP CHAT:
G: what up. just killing time till my bus takes me back to buenos aires in an hour
F: your humiliating shit is popular
G: oh, there´s more
F: oh? do tell
G: too tired to type it out, i´ll tell you when i get back. but it ends with me drunk at 6am in a huge puddle of water and my cell phone is fucked
F: lol
G: i had to buy a goddamn watch, the phone was the only way i had the time
F: oh my lord
Dpjh2 has gone offline.
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