OH CANADA!

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Originally uploaded by Hypefactor.

Something called Liquid Cocaine and a mountside accident has made me unable to give you a blow by blow account of the recent trip to Montreal with my friends, Sam, Roy, and Nick, so I will present it to you in phrases and descriptions:

Tandem Truckers
The Beard
Crossing the White Line
Satan Has the Fattouch!
Traveling Roy Chazy
“Have you ever heard of the Wallflowers?”
80’s clubs that play mostly 90’s music
Crepe and Spoon
Canadian Sign Language
And Now I’m crying Tears of Cum (loose translation of Canadian Sign Language)
Type O Negative’s “Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity (I Know You're Fucking Someone Else)” officially declared the best song ever
“If I had heard this song when I was 16, my life would be a whole lot different”
YES!
Maple Leaves
“I hope that cat doesn’t fall off the roof”
Bar Roy
“It’s Sunday, get the fuck out of here!”
John Dannemora
WOW!
“And when he gets home he’ll not only realize he owns a Wallflowers album, but that he also loves cock!”
Chicks in Ramones shirts know where to eat.
“NICK MAXWELL! I was IN the Wallflowers! Google the name and see!!
Nurture your Alcoholism
Melanie the Waitress
Eiffel Tower (Pictured)
The Soft Goodbye
Shania!

Free Croissants delivered to your hotel
What Happens at Roys Stays At Roys
Bonsuir! Bonsuir! (French for HOME RUN)
If you take your girlfriend out for her birthday, make sure she pays.
Meat Sandwiches (Celine style)
Where the FUCK is your shirt?
The F.J. DeSanto Hotel Experience
Pantybomb
“Was She National Geographic?”
cumquats
There’s a bug in my beer
STOP ME!! (said as G almost fell down a mountain)
Dirty Hippies and their Tam Tam Jam
Medieval mass sword fighting in park
“Guy’s I really enjoyed climbing this mountain”
The most intimidating Crepe ever
“Danny, you could live in that crepe! You could use it as a sleeping bag”
Listen to me…NO PICKLES.
“LICK IT UP LICK IT UP AHHHHH AHHHH AHHH!” as sung by KISS
How do you get the floss out of your teeth? WITH FLOSS!
consider for a moment that this melon has been washed in lukewarm water.
I’m gonna need a few to stink
The Canadian Phil Collins
We are the toughest men in Montreal.
"Would you click it off or leave it on?"
"You have got a dirty, dirty ass."
"You're like a walking O.C. soundtrack"
"Newport Beach," or, how Mischa Barton is a better actress in
French.
Fingerbang, B-52's style
Lesbian French Canadian Dancing Girls Rule
The Nick Maxwell Quartet and their new album three fingers to heaven
Halfway in Shock
"My taste in women is impeccable."
"I wasn't disputing that...Anjeanette."
Nair on your nuts
Everybody wants to take a dip in Lake Chazy.
FLACCID PASS.
it's their bird.
"Canada is a nation of nerds"
"That's funny, coming from a guy who used to backyard wrestle"