Twofer Thursday

On to new business. I have found myself at the cinema quite a bit this week, checking out movies you might want to go see down the line. As usual, I am here to shoot you the straight shit and tell you what the fuck is up...

BABEL is the most depressing movie ever made on the planet Earth. It makes CRASH seem like THE WEDDING CRASHERS. There's not one moment of hope in this film. Ever. No one in this movie (and there are a lot of characters), seem to ever catch a break. This is a movie about unlucky fuckers. It's extremely well directed and acted. That doesn't mean I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean it's bad either. I was cringing the entire time. I will never see this movie again, I never even want to think of this movie ever again, and I can't even suggest you go see it either. Rarely has a movie hurt me like this did. It was two hours plus of massive discomfort. I could only take occasional solace in the scenes shot in Tokyo and it did have the best line, which was a detective saying "Another Shochu". Did I mention that Cate Blanchette spends the entire movie half dead and covered in blood and is still the best actress on the planet? After I finish this sentence I will try to forget this movie forever, despite the poster on the phonebooth in front of my building.

THE DEPARTED on the other hand, is an easy to digest, enjoyable moviegoing experience. Yes, we know it's a remake of the shit hot HK classic INFERNAL AFFAIRS and while no one can ever top that movie, or it's leads, Andy Lau and Tony Leung, this is nevertheless awesome fucking filmmaking and great entertainment. What a cast!! Dicaprio (actually good!), Damon (always good!), Sheen (Martin! just to be clear), and fucking Whalberg eats up every scene he's in. And what can I say about Nicholson. It's great to see him fucking ACT, cause he spends the entire movie teetering on the edge but tempers himself like such a pro that he never ventures into Johnny Marr territory (aka parody, via Ash circa 2004). The excitment flowing through Dan Hamill upon learning that Alec Baldwin was in this was off the charts. He was rewarded for his enthusiasm. But the killer casting, which i didnt know about, was when RAY FUCKING WINSTONE appears on the screen, thats when Danny, Lurch and I knew we were in for a good time. Frank DeSanto Senior popped so hard during the ending of this film that I thought he was going to laugh himself all the way back to the Manor. Scorcese deserves tons of praise for making something so interesting yet commercially entertaining. This movie also succeeds on proper nonstop uses of words like "cunt", "cocksucker" and contains lots of blood and repeated face punching. Smart filmmaking, great acting, super story. This is his best movie (IN MY HONEST OPINION of course) since Goodfellas. Enjoy.

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