30.10.07
The Single Greatest Thing I Have Ever Seen On the Internet
Tonight, even though he wasn't here to watch wrestling, I have learned so much about my friend Evan. We went to High School toghether, lived together for a short period at NYU, and have remained freinds for much of our adult lives. He is a freelancer nowadays, you know what that means, but he, being a good friend picks up my comics for me when I am away, and is very good to my nephew. However, I have just learned that he, being a freelancer participated in some dating bullshit for Essence Magazine. I have never cried laughing this hard to anything I have ever seen on the internet. Ever. Thank you Lurch for pointing all this out to me. Also I have just learned that Evan has a blog that I am not mentioned on: http://freedomsuite.blogspot.com/ enjoy
Here is his dating profile. I have added my comments in caps...
Should She Go Out With Him?
EVAN, 35 (TRUE)
PROFESSION:
Freelancer writer (HILARIOUS, HE'S ACTUALLY A "TV PERSONALITY" IF YOU WATCH LOCAL NEWS BEFORE 7AM ON WEEKENDS)
SIGN: Cancer (I THINK SO)
EMAIL ADDRESS: evan@essence.com (I POPPED SO HARD FOR THAT)
DATING HISTORY: He had a live-in girlfriend from a five-year relationship, but they parted ways a few years ago. (I COULD DO A BLOG JUST ON THIS PART, INCLUDING HOW HE INVENTED THE LEGENDARY "FAKE WEDDING" GIMMICK THAT DAN HAMILL HOLDS IN HIGH ESTEEM)
WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR: An intelligent and funny woman with "nerdy tendencies" who is passionate about arts and culture. "Somebody who's so passionate that they can't always keep their composure about it." (THAT'S NEWS TO ME, AND PROBABLY TO HIM)
FOR A FIRST DATE: "We'd go to a book reading for one of my favorite authors, head to a hip-hop concert for an artist such as De La Soul or Tribe Called Quest." Dinner would follow. (DIDN'T ALL THOSE BANDS BREAK UP? GO SEE BJORK AGAIN OR SOMETHING. TAKE HER TO FUCKING NOODLETOWN, THAT WILL GET YOU LOADS OF PUSSY)
HOW YOU'LL KNOW IT'S GOING WELL: "I'll be laughing (LIKE FRANK GORSHIN) a lot and cracking a lot of jokes (I HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS MAN CRACK A JOKE IN 15 YEARS)."
TRUE CONFESSION: Other than playing younger brother to his fraternal twin brother he's currently working on a book about black culture with Mos Def (OK THOSE ARE BOTH KINDA TRUE).
HE'S A GOOD BLACK MAN BECAUSE: "I can recognize the challenges facing us as a people and rejoice in what we bring to the world." (AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T DANCE OR SCRATCH A TURNTABLE LIKE JACK FROM WILL AND GRACE, WE'RE COOL)
WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT BLACK WOMEN: "They have individuality, and yet they balance that with a groundedness that helps the people in their lives keep a sense of perspective." (HENCE, HE DATES AN ASIAN)
Ok so now , watch the video of him dating this chick here: http://www.essence.com/essence/30datesin30days/vg_michelle.html His date is the first one. Sadly you can't embed the video, but make sure you look at the comments to see the raping he gets from all the women of NYC. Youll never work in this town again, son! Stick to the videogames and the backseat of the minivan!
God Bless You Lurch.
F
Here is his dating profile. I have added my comments in caps...
Should She Go Out With Him?
EVAN, 35 (TRUE)
PROFESSION:
Freelancer writer (HILARIOUS, HE'S ACTUALLY A "TV PERSONALITY" IF YOU WATCH LOCAL NEWS BEFORE 7AM ON WEEKENDS)
SIGN: Cancer (I THINK SO)
EMAIL ADDRESS: evan@essence.com (I POPPED SO HARD FOR THAT)
DATING HISTORY: He had a live-in girlfriend from a five-year relationship, but they parted ways a few years ago. (I COULD DO A BLOG JUST ON THIS PART, INCLUDING HOW HE INVENTED THE LEGENDARY "FAKE WEDDING" GIMMICK THAT DAN HAMILL HOLDS IN HIGH ESTEEM)
WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR: An intelligent and funny woman with "nerdy tendencies" who is passionate about arts and culture. "Somebody who's so passionate that they can't always keep their composure about it." (THAT'S NEWS TO ME, AND PROBABLY TO HIM)
FOR A FIRST DATE: "We'd go to a book reading for one of my favorite authors, head to a hip-hop concert for an artist such as De La Soul or Tribe Called Quest." Dinner would follow. (DIDN'T ALL THOSE BANDS BREAK UP? GO SEE BJORK AGAIN OR SOMETHING. TAKE HER TO FUCKING NOODLETOWN, THAT WILL GET YOU LOADS OF PUSSY)
HOW YOU'LL KNOW IT'S GOING WELL: "I'll be laughing (LIKE FRANK GORSHIN) a lot and cracking a lot of jokes (I HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS MAN CRACK A JOKE IN 15 YEARS)."
TRUE CONFESSION: Other than playing younger brother to his fraternal twin brother he's currently working on a book about black culture with Mos Def (OK THOSE ARE BOTH KINDA TRUE).
HE'S A GOOD BLACK MAN BECAUSE: "I can recognize the challenges facing us as a people and rejoice in what we bring to the world." (AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T DANCE OR SCRATCH A TURNTABLE LIKE JACK FROM WILL AND GRACE, WE'RE COOL)
WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT BLACK WOMEN: "They have individuality, and yet they balance that with a groundedness that helps the people in their lives keep a sense of perspective." (HENCE, HE DATES AN ASIAN)
Ok so now , watch the video of him dating this chick here: http://www.essence.com/essence/30datesin30days/vg_michelle.html His date is the first one. Sadly you can't embed the video, but make sure you look at the comments to see the raping he gets from all the women of NYC. Youll never work in this town again, son! Stick to the videogames and the backseat of the minivan!
God Bless You Lurch.
F
29.10.07
Recall
Where to start, where to start. I've been back in NY, and longer than expected. Which is not neccessarily a bad thing. While no less busy than usual, it's nice to not be on a plane for a change and in one place longer than 5 days. So lets try and catch up.
Before I last left for New Mexico, Peter Saintface came in and was the first to use the new vocal both, which is the upstairs bathroom in an empty apartment B's building. And it's awesome. And Peter came in and tackled the first of his two songs for the album, CLEAN UP. It's the third track on the album and contains what B calls my "best bassline ever". To me, this is a massive single. I could listen to this fucking guy sing all day. Literally. He never delivers a bad take and gives you tons of good material to work with. If you see him, tell him I said that. Anyhow, it was fun to catch up as well. I've been enjoying the fruits of Peter's musical labour ever since as he left me with some music, finally, at last. We still have more work to do with Peter, sooner than later, I hope. I could write songs for him for the rest of my life.
Anyhow, my chronology is way the fuck off, but I am certain I have been to Brandt's house quite a bit as of late, I think I was there Friday working on the album in question. We rocked out the instrumental SHIODOME (named after a section in Tokyo I stayed in, and formerly known as THEY'VE JUST). I played a lot of bass (over and over and over again till I got it right), and expanded the arrangement to accomodate some sweet new guitars B had done. Oh, B, by the way, song is DONE. Awesome.
I saw some movies, the first was the prequel to Donnie Yen's amazing SPL, which is called FLASH POINT. On paper, this movie should be fucking awesome, same star and director as SPL, and co-starrting Louis Koo no less. Sadly, story wise and character wise, it's nowhere near as good as SPL, but goddamn it's got some sick action. It was worth it just for that. They need to go back and watch SPL to see why it worked so well. But it did remind me of the old days of Jackie when stuntguys took sick bumps and we were like what the fuck how is this guy alive? Anyway, Donnie Yen should be named Donnie Ham, cause man he loves the camera. This movie made me eat Ramen.
OK, so then we saw The Darjeeling Limited. As some of you may know, I am a big Wes Anderson fan, but I was very let down by LIFE AQUATIC, which I felt was simply TENNENBAUMS AT SEA. Anyway, the new movie just didn't do it for me. I was very upset about it. Unlike the last movie, I was incredibly intruiged by the characters, the set up and Adrian Brody is a great addition the Andersonverse, but the movie hurt me. There was a lot I did like, but overall I felt it went nowhere and in the end, it failed. Irene disagrees, but shes not the Anderson fan I am. Anyhow, I liked the short movie with our Nat better and thought that was a more interesting story that needed be told. Oh well...
I did a lot of hanging around the house. Grabbed some sizzling rice, talked to the nephew, read some comics, bought some toys (including a Nightwing figure that looks like Xander Crews) and got drunk. Not all in that order, but it at least gets you up to speed.
Yesterday was the best day I had in awhile. Grabbed the Dim Sum with Irene and the lads and then just walked around the city, shopping. Bought some new addidas and then we all came back here, watch SOUTH PARK, ate some homemade Quesadillas and then Irene went house and made the first monkey bread of the season. Thats big success. Then straight from there, we met up with B and Al and Liz and we checked out the last of the 5 Morrissey shows at Hammerstien. Ok, no joke, this was the best gig I've ever seen Moz do. He was in a good mood the band was fierce and the setlist was top fucking notch. I had a blast. Then we went home and I watched the PPV. Yes, yesterday was awesome. Saw friends, ate well, watched wrestling and the music was good. Ace.
I'll try to update regularly so you all stop bitching. Adios. Amigos.
F
Before I last left for New Mexico, Peter Saintface came in and was the first to use the new vocal both, which is the upstairs bathroom in an empty apartment B's building. And it's awesome. And Peter came in and tackled the first of his two songs for the album, CLEAN UP. It's the third track on the album and contains what B calls my "best bassline ever". To me, this is a massive single. I could listen to this fucking guy sing all day. Literally. He never delivers a bad take and gives you tons of good material to work with. If you see him, tell him I said that. Anyhow, it was fun to catch up as well. I've been enjoying the fruits of Peter's musical labour ever since as he left me with some music, finally, at last. We still have more work to do with Peter, sooner than later, I hope. I could write songs for him for the rest of my life.
Anyhow, my chronology is way the fuck off, but I am certain I have been to Brandt's house quite a bit as of late, I think I was there Friday working on the album in question. We rocked out the instrumental SHIODOME (named after a section in Tokyo I stayed in, and formerly known as THEY'VE JUST). I played a lot of bass (over and over and over again till I got it right), and expanded the arrangement to accomodate some sweet new guitars B had done. Oh, B, by the way, song is DONE. Awesome.
I saw some movies, the first was the prequel to Donnie Yen's amazing SPL, which is called FLASH POINT. On paper, this movie should be fucking awesome, same star and director as SPL, and co-starrting Louis Koo no less. Sadly, story wise and character wise, it's nowhere near as good as SPL, but goddamn it's got some sick action. It was worth it just for that. They need to go back and watch SPL to see why it worked so well. But it did remind me of the old days of Jackie when stuntguys took sick bumps and we were like what the fuck how is this guy alive? Anyway, Donnie Yen should be named Donnie Ham, cause man he loves the camera. This movie made me eat Ramen.
OK, so then we saw The Darjeeling Limited. As some of you may know, I am a big Wes Anderson fan, but I was very let down by LIFE AQUATIC, which I felt was simply TENNENBAUMS AT SEA. Anyway, the new movie just didn't do it for me. I was very upset about it. Unlike the last movie, I was incredibly intruiged by the characters, the set up and Adrian Brody is a great addition the Andersonverse, but the movie hurt me. There was a lot I did like, but overall I felt it went nowhere and in the end, it failed. Irene disagrees, but shes not the Anderson fan I am. Anyhow, I liked the short movie with our Nat better and thought that was a more interesting story that needed be told. Oh well...
I did a lot of hanging around the house. Grabbed some sizzling rice, talked to the nephew, read some comics, bought some toys (including a Nightwing figure that looks like Xander Crews) and got drunk. Not all in that order, but it at least gets you up to speed.
Yesterday was the best day I had in awhile. Grabbed the Dim Sum with Irene and the lads and then just walked around the city, shopping. Bought some new addidas and then we all came back here, watch SOUTH PARK, ate some homemade Quesadillas and then Irene went house and made the first monkey bread of the season. Thats big success. Then straight from there, we met up with B and Al and Liz and we checked out the last of the 5 Morrissey shows at Hammerstien. Ok, no joke, this was the best gig I've ever seen Moz do. He was in a good mood the band was fierce and the setlist was top fucking notch. I had a blast. Then we went home and I watched the PPV. Yes, yesterday was awesome. Saw friends, ate well, watched wrestling and the music was good. Ace.
I'll try to update regularly so you all stop bitching. Adios. Amigos.
F
24.10.07
21.10.07
RAVEN.
Back in NY and saddened to learn of the passing og Paul Raven, whom I had met a few times casually during the aggression years. The first time I met him, while he was playing bass for Pigface, my friend Michel Costes was recording radio intros from NYU. He got all the Pigface members (when it was fucking COOL to be in Pigface, meaning, Connely, Ogre, Rieflin, Trent, etc) to do an intro and then we approached Raven who was scary as fuck and of course ended up being the sweetest dude. He then proceeded to say on tape "this is Raven saying all you (insert N word here) kill the president". It didn't up on radio, but I popped like a a little bitch. Anyway, that's my memory of the guy. Sad.
14.10.07
Bound For Evan
Evan reports in from TNA's Bound For Glory, where he was flown down to check out their new videogame. This is of note:
"last night, AJ used the word backyard as a verb, "I backyarded it until I got it right" while talking about perfecting his flips"
Man, I love wrestling.
F
"last night, AJ used the word backyard as a verb, "I backyarded it until I got it right" while talking about perfecting his flips"
Man, I love wrestling.
F
Beer, Donuts, and Party Bombs
It's Sunday, friends. How are you all doing? I can't tell you how nice it is to wake up for one morning without an alarm waking my ass up to be somewhere. Of course this is the only day I get that. It's off to New Mexico tomorrow, which I am very excited about. I'll report from there, but this will give you an idea of what it was like last time:
Now I just need a car.
Even more exciting was having Carlos B come in yesterday to finish off his bass for a few songs for the long-awaited HF album. It was a fun day. Beer and donuts were in full supply, the bass sounded sweet and rocky. I bet you're wondering why we keep recording these parts, its mostly cause shit keeps getting rocky. Which is good. Which I love. So Bob had to come in and use and pick to keep it, as we used to say in the old days, loud, fast and nasty. Well, you know, it's rock.
B is actually DONE on some songs (he says). The progress is sick. Not just on the album, but on the future material as well. We're always thinking ahead. Future songs were reviewed, as was a remix I've been working on in various hotel rooms, airports and airplanes. Everything was positive and Bob was in good form. We're slowly coming full circle as the focus on finishing the recording is going to fall flat on the shoulders of your hero, who has some F-Bass to finish on the opener track and a lotta vocals to do. Ahi Vamos. Oy Vey. Then Bob treated us to an epic dinner at Bozu, which was too goddamn awesome. Philip, the waiter, is a friend of B's and also the biggest mark ever for this place, makes it fucking happen. Party BOMB.
Today the guest star weekend continues as Peter Saintface makes his first trip to whatever we call this studio now. This is gonna be good.
More later.
F
Now I just need a car.
Even more exciting was having Carlos B come in yesterday to finish off his bass for a few songs for the long-awaited HF album. It was a fun day. Beer and donuts were in full supply, the bass sounded sweet and rocky. I bet you're wondering why we keep recording these parts, its mostly cause shit keeps getting rocky. Which is good. Which I love. So Bob had to come in and use and pick to keep it, as we used to say in the old days, loud, fast and nasty. Well, you know, it's rock.
B is actually DONE on some songs (he says). The progress is sick. Not just on the album, but on the future material as well. We're always thinking ahead. Future songs were reviewed, as was a remix I've been working on in various hotel rooms, airports and airplanes. Everything was positive and Bob was in good form. We're slowly coming full circle as the focus on finishing the recording is going to fall flat on the shoulders of your hero, who has some F-Bass to finish on the opener track and a lotta vocals to do. Ahi Vamos. Oy Vey. Then Bob treated us to an epic dinner at Bozu, which was too goddamn awesome. Philip, the waiter, is a friend of B's and also the biggest mark ever for this place, makes it fucking happen. Party BOMB.
Today the guest star weekend continues as Peter Saintface makes his first trip to whatever we call this studio now. This is gonna be good.
More later.
F
10.10.07
Quickly...
As you can see, communications are few and far between. Travels between NYC, New Mexico, Rhode Island and back to NY have left me little time to write you. Forgive me.
Where am I writing from today? The now sunny New York City. Man I love it here. I miss it. However, I miss New Mexico right now for the obvious reasons. You'll see 1/16/09 what its all about. I'm back to that part of the world come Monday and will be going back and forth for the rest of the 07. Sadly, due to legal reasons, there's not much I can show you from New Mexico except this:
Sadly, I can't show you the Baconator evening. That's for the book.
I came back from New Mexico last Thursday and by Saturday, Irene and I were off to Newport Rhode Island for the Chad/Sarah wedding. This was a first class event, but I do have to say the highlight was the one morning/afternoon Irene and I got to hang out and get some good food. Oh My Lord will rock Newport when he moves here this month. Honestly, OML and Molly are the only folks that would get me to go back there. We had some damn good food there, though. Here, you can see a little naughty humor from your hero (rolling in the tux) gets the bride poppin':
Now we are back in NY, as I mentioned, and I've been staying up til the wee hours catching up on the great sport. last night we celebrated the birthday of Mom DeSanto at Fresco, which has nothing to do with Leandro. Good place. 52nd and Madison. Ace. Tonight, however, is, as Bob pointed out in the post below, is Blade Runner night. At last. This weekend will be the good music. And don't get me wrong kids, been working on the tunes. Remixing. Arranging. any possible free second is spent on music and not on facebook. Lot's of great things brewing like a good pot o tea,
See you soon.
F
Where am I writing from today? The now sunny New York City. Man I love it here. I miss it. However, I miss New Mexico right now for the obvious reasons. You'll see 1/16/09 what its all about. I'm back to that part of the world come Monday and will be going back and forth for the rest of the 07. Sadly, due to legal reasons, there's not much I can show you from New Mexico except this:
Sadly, I can't show you the Baconator evening. That's for the book.
I came back from New Mexico last Thursday and by Saturday, Irene and I were off to Newport Rhode Island for the Chad/Sarah wedding. This was a first class event, but I do have to say the highlight was the one morning/afternoon Irene and I got to hang out and get some good food. Oh My Lord will rock Newport when he moves here this month. Honestly, OML and Molly are the only folks that would get me to go back there. We had some damn good food there, though. Here, you can see a little naughty humor from your hero (rolling in the tux) gets the bride poppin':
Now we are back in NY, as I mentioned, and I've been staying up til the wee hours catching up on the great sport. last night we celebrated the birthday of Mom DeSanto at Fresco, which has nothing to do with Leandro. Good place. 52nd and Madison. Ace. Tonight, however, is, as Bob pointed out in the post below, is Blade Runner night. At last. This weekend will be the good music. And don't get me wrong kids, been working on the tunes. Remixing. Arranging. any possible free second is spent on music and not on facebook. Lot's of great things brewing like a good pot o tea,
See you soon.
F
