DICK

Richard Ashcroft has revealed his comeback album is sounding "shit hot" - and he wants to be known as a "great English songwriter".

We can only hope...

Empire!

So I can only assume that after the fall of Empire in RETURN OF THE JEDI, that Stormtroopers had to find employment elsewhere. Becoming a minder for the famouse will look good on any Imperial resume!

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No, I CAN'T dig it...

So, THE WARRIORS are seeing a resurgence in popularity of late and finally being appreciated for the classic it always was. It was never unpopular amongst the MOGpac, starting in the early days of Dan Hamill and I in grade school discussing and re-enacting the film (of course, I always wanted to be Ajax). In later years, THE WARRIORS became a reference point of what was great about 70's cinema and was even the focus of an aggression tour laminate (as was SLAPSHOT). We're children of the 70's, for all you youngsters out there.

This month sees a videogame based on the film released by Rockstar Games, who bring great joy to my life semi-annually with their Grand Theft Auto games. Should THE WARRIORS be half as good as the last GTA, we're in good shape. Soon we will see, but the guys at Rockstar seem to be staying faithful to the film, unlike the folks at Paramount who are attempting to do an LA based "remake". Dumb.

Also dumb is the new so-called "Ultimate Directors Cut" of the classic film. This new version totally kills what is great and so realistic (for it's time) about the film by adding in some bullshit narration by director Walter Hill in the beginning about the Roman Empire (which was slated to be in the original and narrated by Orson Welles) as well as adding comic book panel animation for certain scene breaks, including onscreen panel dialogue like "Meanwhile" and "Oh Shit" which TOTALLY RUINS THE GODDAMN MOVIE. I screamed at my TV screen. Thankfuckfully, the old DVD will allow this film to exist as it is meant to me. However, this version does have cool featurettes and interviews which is enjoyable and I learned a lot about the film and its process and while a lot of these new changes were from the original plans for the movie, they just dont work. Plus they didn't add the deleted scenes that were promised for some time.

Hopefully the game will retain the spirit of the original cause this DVD certainly diminishes it. I am not usually a stickler for "special editions" and changes being made to movies (I don't have too much of a problem with Lucas fucking with STAR WARS cause to me it keeps it fresh, except one scene, which I'm sure you know), but this version of THE WARRIORS is a mistake.

Come out and play? No thanks, guy.

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The Latest...

To say this week was dull would be an understatement. No matter how hard I tried, all attempts to see SERENITY were thwarted by hangovers, conference calls, terror threats, shit weather and poor timing due to work schedules. Then today's attempts to actually sit down and do anything were ruined by one of my RAM drives taking a massive dive, thus leading to yet another trip to the Apple store. To Apple's credit, their new Genius Bar appointment system works much better now, so the wait time wasn't as bad. Thanks to an actually helpful and nice "Genius" named Charlie, the problem was fixed in a creative and effected manner, but this powerbooks days are numbered.

*In a strange conicidence, I put on my new remastered Korean copy of the first Jackie Chan movie to really make an impact on me back in the day: WHEELS ON MEALS. I sorta didn't pay attention as I was pretty much freaking out about the powerbook getting all shitty, but I at one point today said to myself "Jesus, you know it;'s been like 20 years since Jackie, Sammo, and Yuen Biao appeared on screen together. The last time was HERE in one of my top ten films of all time: "DRAGONS FOREVER" Then literally the first thing read upon getting the laptop home is this on Monkeypeaches.com: "In the 1980s, Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao starred in such comedy classic as Project A, Wheels on Meals and Dragon Forever. During an interview with South Korea’s Yonhap News Agency, Jackie Chan said Yuen Biao would be in Project BB (aka. Project Baby or Baby Plan) he wrote. This would the first movie for the legendary trio in almost two decades. It will tell three crooks steal a baby in order to complete a deal with a gang, but none of them knows how to take care of their little hostage who, after gives them some major headache at their residence, somehow "persuades" them to give up doing bad things." Weird, huh? Exciting for us HK movie buffs and probably the cinematic equivalent of the Duran reunion for me.

*In better spirits in the evening, we threw on the recent French hit film "36 Quai des Orfèvres", which was fucking AWESOME. Of course, Hollywood is remaking it, as remaking cool foreign cop films, like INFERNAL AFFAIRS is currently the trend. Here's a bit about the film from the Edinburgh Film Festival program: "France's two biggest male stars, Gerard Depardieu and Daniel Auteuil, in this gripping drama of two rogue cops - once friends, now mortal enemies. Boasting a blue-chip cast, this widescreen extravaganza is like an inspired cross between Michael Mann's Heat and The Count of Monte Cristo, as two cops - one ruthlessly corrupt, the other obsessively determined to bring him down - do battle over almost ten years. With its immaculate production values, its intricate plotting, and two never-better performances from its leads, this gritty, hard-boiled tale of honour and betrayal (written and directed by a former cop, and based on actual events in the French force during 1980s) was France's biggest box-office hit last year - and it's easy to see why."

*I want you to know I had an E-mail exchange with the infamous Anus McManus (as I call it McAnus), who asked to be a part of this blog. He did tell me to "Taste The Anus" when I told him he was "mean", and just as he was the talk of the town last week, he is long forgotten this week. However, my current suspects involve not only someone who is mentally retarded and is probably still in the 8th grade in Garden City New York, but also a famous French film star who I will not name, but admire tremendously. Thanks to Lurch for the tip on this one.

*Thanks to poor timing, I ended up seeing the Cameron Diaz film IN HER SHOES which was actually a well made movie about two sisters. One's hot, one's fat. I felt this movie was 4 hours long. However, it does not suck and I have a feeling, being an only child, and not being a chick, that i didn't get nearly as much as the 100 bawling chicks, including my Significant Other (Irene, Not G), did. Curtis Hanson is a great director and knows which strings to pull. Again, chick flick that does not such. Well done. Supposedly it's based on a book and supposedly, according to the avid reader of the house, they didn't fuck up the movie. Rare.

*I need to vent to you my absoulte HATRED of the talentless and unfunny man known as Horatio Sanz. He represents everything that is wrong with SNL, which I just watched for the first time in years just to see Jon (Napoleon Dynamite) Heder, and while of course the show still sucks, I cannot believe this guy Sanz is still on. Formerly Jimmy Fallon's bitch, this guy cannot keep a straight face during a skit. He breaks character every time, can barely deliver the lines he's given and looks like he just arrived at work and hasn't been told what they are doing that day. He stares at cue cards like The Kidd does at porn. He's just terrible and lame and should be fired. Why are they not hiring guys like Rob Huebel and Aziz Ansari, who are truly funny bastards? Check out http://www.azizisbored.com/ for some funny shit right there.

In yet another example of conicidence or gimmick infringement, please observe the following photographic evidence that once again displays the similiarities between myself and my bass hero, Peter Hook:

FRANK DESANTO: Lotus, last Saturday night

PETER HOOK: Lotus, last Saturday night

I guess considering I basically stole EVERYTHING from the man from his bass playing, his mild insanity, and stage performance, to his hair and gut, I can venture to say that he is entitled to steal my "being seen in public with an asian chick" gimmick in return. However, I win for being photographed with two chicks and just for the look on Al's face to my left where she is thinking "I can't believe I came here with Brandt". But thats for another time.

Stay Golden. I got some big news coming...

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Across The Water...

T'was a fun weekend. No sooner did I land back here on the right coast that I was whisked away for the evening by the S.O., who was kind enough to get myself, Brandt and his young nice lady friend on the guest list for Peter Hook's DJ set at Lotus. Hooky, of course, was awesome and DJ'd like he was at the Hacienda to a a crowd that contained SOME New Order fans, but was filled mostly with trendy douches. This of course gave us lots of material to laugh our asses off. Anyhow, the crowd was annoying as fuck till we found a nice spot upstairs with the good view of Hooky and the floor. Hooky played 45 minutes longer than scheduled and those 45 minute consisted of a "Best Of" all the different stuff he has done over the years. Lots of obscure remixes. Hooky has come a long way as a DJ since the last time we saw him and it was a very good time. (This pic is actually from another DJ set, as I couldn't find anything else)

Saturday was the day of rest and yesterday saw us head to Staten Island to check out some festival called Across the Narrows that sounded like a bad idea on paper and actually was probably less of a good idea in execution. Basically it was take a bunch of good bands, like The Killers, Beck, Oasis and the Pixies, find some decent or at lest well-known opening acts, like Interpol, NY Dolls and Doves, balance it out with unknowns and then spread it over 4 shows in two days in two locations. Well, thats a great way to fill up half the venue and lose your money, but I'm not a businessman, so I digress. So as much as I like The Killers these days, my money was going towards the Oasis gig, obviously, because it contained current tour-mates Kasabian (relax, I'll go easy), Doves (who I had never seen) and a slot from the reunited Lemonheads (faves of G and I from way back.

The festival people were nice enough to post exact start times for the bands, so we knew when to get there, thanks to Brandt, we made it to an earlier Ferry and caught the horror known as Jesse Malin. Imagine Judd Hirsch gone indie. Terrible, but worth a few laughs, especially when he said "New Yorkers are not from America, they are from Rock N Roll". Spittake central. Thank fuckfully, Kasabian came on and stole the day to a very excited crowd. Look, fight me all you want, but they've got it. The new stuff is great, especially STUNTMAN, and they play every gig like its the last one ever. They better retain this drummer guy for the second album. He's fierce. Even though the mix was off and loud as fuck, I felt like I was 16 again discovering music for the first time. Totally worth going early.

The Lemonheads came on and bored the fuck outta me, playing all the songs I didn't know or couldn't remember. Luckily, they played IT'S A SHAME ABOUT RAY, somewhat redeeming the set. Then the surprise of the day, DOVES, came on and having been told by everyone from Lurch to Fuss to Brandt they are boring live, I had very few expectations. I love the new album and damn these guys were fucking ON today. If they played every gig like this, I would see them a million times. Looks like we caught them on a good day cause they were phenomenal. I couldn't believe how much I liked them live. Maybe I caught them on a good day, but I'm glad we did, cause they totally made up for the fact that Jet, who played after them, are the worst shit ever. EVER. Except Jesse Malin, who is the living embodiment of The Worst.

Oasis came on and they were almost the opposite of the MSG gig earlier this year. Liam was Grumpy and I guess I would too if i went from MSG to some baseball field. Anyhow, they did the "paycheck" set, which is about 5 songs shorter than the set they have been playing on this tour. No encore. Quick in and out. After Kasabian and Doves, it seemed like a big let down. It was. Can't win 'em all. We had MSG. They'll be back eventually and they will be fucking great. We just got lucky we saw two opening acts having very ON days and an headliner who was having an off one.

And now, it's time to listen to the new Depeche Mode album...fingers crossed. Again, if you wish to be a member of this blog, feel free to drop me a line. Anus (who I now think is Jesse Malin or the guy who chatted of B in the loo yesterday with his weenie out) did.

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