This morning, Variety tells me this: "Martial arts movie masters Jackie Chan and Jet Li will battle on the big screen for the first time in a new movie set to start filming in April. Acclaimed action choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping will guide the fight sequences".
I've heard this was brewing for quite awhile, as far back as when I was in Jackie's agents office years ago pitching, well, the very same idea. Anyhow. On paper, it's exciting, but I'm told it's a "family" film, which is kinda wack considering you want these two to beat the fuck out of each other. Anyway, I haven't seen Jackie's new one yet (cause its not out on DVD), and while Jackie for me the single most important filmmaker of my life, I hold very little against him. Hopefully this will kick ass.
F
31.10.06
25.10.06
The First Of Joy
Congrats to my old friend Chris Connelly and his wife on the birth of thier son: Angus Tucker Michael Connelly. I'm glad the baby is blessed with the name "Tucker" and not "Jourgensen". Just saying.
IN-GENUINE
Friends, how are you? Have you missed me? I've been too busy watching Borat deleted scenes on Youtube, no thanks to Chad, but now need to catch up on the things that go on here in this crazy world of MOG.
I've been just about living in the studio at the moment, though I am just a tiny cog in an abode filled with frightening amounts of musical and photography gear. And a dog that got its white fucking hair all over my new jacket. Not pleased. But we have been eating Shabu and donuts while drinking Kurosawa sake, hammering the new tune into shape, and doing loads of bass overdubs. It's nice to spend hours just playing the old Thunderbird in the hook style. It equals fun progress and re-playing stuff written a while ago gives B and I room to improve on the parts, so they will be much improved in both performance and sound quality compared to the demos. I really like playing against the awesome Charlton Creston Low End (tm). There's a cool dynamic there that I think can be translated with much success on the live stage. Anyhow, we're getting there, and it's awesome listening to new versions of the Ipod and seeing how far the quality has jumped in the last year.
Meanwhile, there is the occasional social fun, which included our going to see THE PRESTIGE last weekend. I really dig this movie. Chris Nolan is without a doubt of my favourite directors working in Hollywood and that was long before I met him on his last movie. Basically, THE PRESTIGE is about pro wrestling (though here they use something called "magic"). Batman plays Brian Pillman and Wolverine plays Bret Hart. I'm joking of course, but the similarities between the goings on in the world of magic and our great sport was shocking enough for Dan Hamill to text me during the movie to say so. Completely by coincidence,, this very same comparison was just made on the respected publication The Wrestling Observer (To which we have subscribed since the GOLD STREET ERA). Because it is a period piece about magic, THE PRESTIGE is going to be compared to THE ILLUSIONIST, another movie I liked a lot, but I have to side with the genius of Nolan here. The storytelling is just super and the actors are first rate. Dan Hamill was very pleased to see the IN-GENUINE Piper Perabo in her long awaited "comeback" role. And you know Nolan is a genius when he can make Hollywood Scarlett passable!
I have more to tell you, but now comics need to be bought.
I've been just about living in the studio at the moment, though I am just a tiny cog in an abode filled with frightening amounts of musical and photography gear. And a dog that got its white fucking hair all over my new jacket. Not pleased. But we have been eating Shabu and donuts while drinking Kurosawa sake, hammering the new tune into shape, and doing loads of bass overdubs. It's nice to spend hours just playing the old Thunderbird in the hook style. It equals fun progress and re-playing stuff written a while ago gives B and I room to improve on the parts, so they will be much improved in both performance and sound quality compared to the demos. I really like playing against the awesome Charlton Creston Low End (tm). There's a cool dynamic there that I think can be translated with much success on the live stage. Anyhow, we're getting there, and it's awesome listening to new versions of the Ipod and seeing how far the quality has jumped in the last year.
Meanwhile, there is the occasional social fun, which included our going to see THE PRESTIGE last weekend. I really dig this movie. Chris Nolan is without a doubt of my favourite directors working in Hollywood and that was long before I met him on his last movie. Basically, THE PRESTIGE is about pro wrestling (though here they use something called "magic"). Batman plays Brian Pillman and Wolverine plays Bret Hart. I'm joking of course, but the similarities between the goings on in the world of magic and our great sport was shocking enough for Dan Hamill to text me during the movie to say so. Completely by coincidence,, this very same comparison was just made on the respected publication The Wrestling Observer (To which we have subscribed since the GOLD STREET ERA). Because it is a period piece about magic, THE PRESTIGE is going to be compared to THE ILLUSIONIST, another movie I liked a lot, but I have to side with the genius of Nolan here. The storytelling is just super and the actors are first rate. Dan Hamill was very pleased to see the IN-GENUINE Piper Perabo in her long awaited "comeback" role. And you know Nolan is a genius when he can make Hollywood Scarlett passable!
I have more to tell you, but now comics need to be bought.
24.10.06
16.10.06
I Stand Corrected...
I've made a terrible mistake. In the last few years, I have been one of the few people to say "let them close CBGB's". I mean, why keep it around? No one good plays there, the sound is terrible, the place is falling apart, etc. I couldn't even tell you the last time I was even there for a gig (I'm seriously drawing a blank). Hell, crap like The Hold Steady doesn't even play there. Now, granted, I have great memories of playing there with the aggression, and some significant moments in my young life happened there (introducing myself to the Councilwoman for the fist time comes to mind), but to me, it was "let it die" and I saw no reason to fight. This was much to the consternation of my lady friend, who once travelled significant miles to see yours truly peform there, and who, though newer to NY than I, has a deep appreciation of the culture that I may have been taking for granted. Even a recent SNL sketch that pariodied Lou Reed and Patti Smith wasn't even funny or enough to get me to think.
The other night, while in a taxi, I went by the venue, which now looks tiny next to the NYU dorm and new apartment building the surround it and will probably engulf it in the next month. I began to have a strong realization that I may have been looking at this the wrong way. But what really knocked me on my ass was seeing my beloved Music Palace (the legendary Chinese movie theatre), being torn down after laying dormant for many years. This wasn't about losing a venue or a movie theatre, it was about New York losing just more pieces of it's culture for the sake of Real Estate. It's the same reason almost none of my friends actually live in New York City anymore and have retreated to Harlem and Queens and why I have to take two trains to the studio in Brooklyn every week. It's why all the places I used to eat at, like Bel Vilagio and Say Eng Look are gone. The culture I grew up with is slowly being erased from the map. And I put it in the perspective of my nephew, who claims he will someday live here and visit us for dinner every night. I thought how he won't get to meet someone who could become one of his best friends at CB's or how his band won't drink with some homeless guys across the street at the long forgotten bodega or how a girl won't have the opportunity to explain to him why she and one of his best friends got engaged after knowing each other for a few days (that's a true story kids, ask Nina Link!). And worst of all, he will probably never see a Jackie Chan movie on the big screen. Instead of a music venue for young bands to cut their teeth, there's a fucking dorm for punk asses from ohio to pretend they are New Yorkers for 4 years (which, now of course, irony of ironies, will be where my nephew is assigned to live when he starts NYU in a decade).
I think part of my initial not giving a shit was based on my refusal to be stuck in the past or to appear, as Lurch would say, progressive (he never actually said that). I don't want to be a relic of "Old New York" or some Lou Reed character, but these places and things helped mold me and is why I am in this city for the rest of my life. Yes, I probably never would have gone to CB's ever again, but the thought of it being there was secure enough. It's my mistake and I was very very wrong. I don't understand why CB's has to go when shit holes down the block, like Pheobes, one of the worst bars ever, still remains. And shit like Crash Mansion? Come on.
While I love the fact that I can walk the Bowery with an 8 year old and not be scared as I had been as a 12 year old sneaking down to see Hong Kong movies, I can't shake the fact that everything I consider culture is being slowly erased as time goes on. What can I teach my nephew? What will I teach my own kid years from now? I'm gonna be and already am the "you know what used to be here when I was a kid?" guy. Fuck. Actually, I honestly miss the UNDERWORLD on Bleeker and bway even more (thats for you oldschoolers!)
F
The other night, while in a taxi, I went by the venue, which now looks tiny next to the NYU dorm and new apartment building the surround it and will probably engulf it in the next month. I began to have a strong realization that I may have been looking at this the wrong way. But what really knocked me on my ass was seeing my beloved Music Palace (the legendary Chinese movie theatre), being torn down after laying dormant for many years. This wasn't about losing a venue or a movie theatre, it was about New York losing just more pieces of it's culture for the sake of Real Estate. It's the same reason almost none of my friends actually live in New York City anymore and have retreated to Harlem and Queens and why I have to take two trains to the studio in Brooklyn every week. It's why all the places I used to eat at, like Bel Vilagio and Say Eng Look are gone. The culture I grew up with is slowly being erased from the map. And I put it in the perspective of my nephew, who claims he will someday live here and visit us for dinner every night. I thought how he won't get to meet someone who could become one of his best friends at CB's or how his band won't drink with some homeless guys across the street at the long forgotten bodega or how a girl won't have the opportunity to explain to him why she and one of his best friends got engaged after knowing each other for a few days (that's a true story kids, ask Nina Link!). And worst of all, he will probably never see a Jackie Chan movie on the big screen. Instead of a music venue for young bands to cut their teeth, there's a fucking dorm for punk asses from ohio to pretend they are New Yorkers for 4 years (which, now of course, irony of ironies, will be where my nephew is assigned to live when he starts NYU in a decade).
I think part of my initial not giving a shit was based on my refusal to be stuck in the past or to appear, as Lurch would say, progressive (he never actually said that). I don't want to be a relic of "Old New York" or some Lou Reed character, but these places and things helped mold me and is why I am in this city for the rest of my life. Yes, I probably never would have gone to CB's ever again, but the thought of it being there was secure enough. It's my mistake and I was very very wrong. I don't understand why CB's has to go when shit holes down the block, like Pheobes, one of the worst bars ever, still remains. And shit like Crash Mansion? Come on.
While I love the fact that I can walk the Bowery with an 8 year old and not be scared as I had been as a 12 year old sneaking down to see Hong Kong movies, I can't shake the fact that everything I consider culture is being slowly erased as time goes on. What can I teach my nephew? What will I teach my own kid years from now? I'm gonna be and already am the "you know what used to be here when I was a kid?" guy. Fuck. Actually, I honestly miss the UNDERWORLD on Bleeker and bway even more (thats for you oldschoolers!)
F
14.10.06
Apologies for the Lack of Hype
Greetings from the studio, where Brandt and I find ourselves once again slaving away over the songs that someday you might own. I can't promise when, but I can promise it will be better than the Hold Steady. As I type, Brandt is doing his damndest to make sure a guitar part sounds awesome when played backwards. So far it does...
Because of my recent Uncle Duty and Hold Steady Ranting, I have been delinquent in updating you on my musical adventures. I have been spending many a day and night at Brandt's continuing to drive the seriously snowballing momentum that is the Hypefactor album. For the last few weeks we have consumed ourselves with this album. Yes, we have been working on it for many years, but honestly, with a new studio, new gear and some new tricks up our sleeves comes the the mutual desire to bring this album to a new and exciting level. That has led to some songs being scrapped (mostly cause Ash lost one) or completely overhauled all in the name of quality.
But that quality doesn't happen easily and nor does it come without help. In recent weeks, we have seen the Ass Cobras (minus the drummer, on whom we are waiting for the right moment to bring in) venture down to Marcy Avenue to bring the necessary talent and advice to take HF to a whole new level. Last week, Charles brought his fine self in to lay down the important low end on a newer song, the mostly electronic DON'T DREAM, JUST SCHEDULE, which will be the album's centerpiece, and he re-did his bass on the album's opener, THE MORNING AFTER THE LIFE BEFORE. You can just hear the quality rise with each note this guy plucked on the bass. Grooves to move your ass. You gotta love it.
Meanwhile, Ash has been here twice in 3 weeks to help us crack the album's newest song, the tech-rocker, Azumi (yes, named after the movie for the moment because I had just met the film's director the day I started working on it), which saw the three of us jamming parts of it out on guitars one session and then, last night, tackling the electronics in new ways that most won't expect from us. We're also making the effort to write in keys we never have before, in weird ways and the results are exciting (not that know what half of what I'm doing). Anyhow, the first session with Ash revolved around trying to do some electronics, which weren't working, so we switched to guitars and nailed the chorus and bridge. Further work saw B get the verses up to speed while I fiddled nonstop with the arrangement, which I would trade back and forth with B via IM (we now supposedly have our own server to save us tons of time!)
The second session with Ash took place last night and began with a nice round of beers and burgers at the awesome Dumont. There we discussed mostly Depeche Mode, which led to the three of us sitting in B's living room watching the DVD Docu that accompanies the reissue of everyone's favourite album SONGS OF FAITH AND DEVOTION. We hoped it would give us some inspiration and sure enough it did as Ash went house on the electronics in Azumi and took it to a new place, much to our delight. Now, as I type, a day later, the fruits of Ash's labour begin to blossom as B and I take turns in front of the computer trying out new arrangements and sound design. Your hero has even jotted down a few vocal melodies. Who knows, but I think this tune is a fucking winner. Dear Peter Saintface, please understand this is why I missed your show last night. You too, Murray. SORRY.
Each moment brings us a little bit closer to the end. It's very enjoyable time to be in Hypefactor. Someone tell Robin to get ready for my call. xoxo
F
Because of my recent Uncle Duty and Hold Steady Ranting, I have been delinquent in updating you on my musical adventures. I have been spending many a day and night at Brandt's continuing to drive the seriously snowballing momentum that is the Hypefactor album. For the last few weeks we have consumed ourselves with this album. Yes, we have been working on it for many years, but honestly, with a new studio, new gear and some new tricks up our sleeves comes the the mutual desire to bring this album to a new and exciting level. That has led to some songs being scrapped (mostly cause Ash lost one) or completely overhauled all in the name of quality.
But that quality doesn't happen easily and nor does it come without help. In recent weeks, we have seen the Ass Cobras (minus the drummer, on whom we are waiting for the right moment to bring in) venture down to Marcy Avenue to bring the necessary talent and advice to take HF to a whole new level. Last week, Charles brought his fine self in to lay down the important low end on a newer song, the mostly electronic DON'T DREAM, JUST SCHEDULE, which will be the album's centerpiece, and he re-did his bass on the album's opener, THE MORNING AFTER THE LIFE BEFORE. You can just hear the quality rise with each note this guy plucked on the bass. Grooves to move your ass. You gotta love it.
Meanwhile, Ash has been here twice in 3 weeks to help us crack the album's newest song, the tech-rocker, Azumi (yes, named after the movie for the moment because I had just met the film's director the day I started working on it), which saw the three of us jamming parts of it out on guitars one session and then, last night, tackling the electronics in new ways that most won't expect from us. We're also making the effort to write in keys we never have before, in weird ways and the results are exciting (not that know what half of what I'm doing). Anyhow, the first session with Ash revolved around trying to do some electronics, which weren't working, so we switched to guitars and nailed the chorus and bridge. Further work saw B get the verses up to speed while I fiddled nonstop with the arrangement, which I would trade back and forth with B via IM (we now supposedly have our own server to save us tons of time!)
The second session with Ash took place last night and began with a nice round of beers and burgers at the awesome Dumont. There we discussed mostly Depeche Mode, which led to the three of us sitting in B's living room watching the DVD Docu that accompanies the reissue of everyone's favourite album SONGS OF FAITH AND DEVOTION. We hoped it would give us some inspiration and sure enough it did as Ash went house on the electronics in Azumi and took it to a new place, much to our delight. Now, as I type, a day later, the fruits of Ash's labour begin to blossom as B and I take turns in front of the computer trying out new arrangements and sound design. Your hero has even jotted down a few vocal melodies. Who knows, but I think this tune is a fucking winner. Dear Peter Saintface, please understand this is why I missed your show last night. You too, Murray. SORRY.
Each moment brings us a little bit closer to the end. It's very enjoyable time to be in Hypefactor. Someone tell Robin to get ready for my call. xoxo
F
12.10.06
Hold Still...
I take great “offence” to a post written about your hero on the often ignored and utterly forgettable (often by its own author) blog known as “Ride The Liger”, a title, I might add, that was inspired by the small nephew you occasionally see on this very blog.
The extremely un-Tyler Durden like (meaning: dull and uncreative) title of the entry is “Something FRANK Should Like (But Probably Won’t)” and it is written by MOGpac member James Hambrick, whom you known as Lurch. This is in regards to my supposed lack (read: having good taste) of appreciation/interest in the Last Days Of Disco’s favourite band, The Hold Steady, of whom I vehemently oppose the very existence of for several reasons (beyond the fact that they love them THAT much and someone has to bust balls). Let me explain why:
1. They are American. (I have allowed myself to love only ONE American musician, and that is Greg Dulli).
2. They are old and unattractive. Call me gay, but I want to love my bands on a homoerotic level. My friends like them because they dress worse than anyone we know. I could deal with the old if they knew how to dress. I could deal with the dress if they were young. I could deal with both if the music was good.
3. They have beer cozies. PLEASE. I feel you posted that almost to incite me to violence (You DID, fucker!)
4. I don’t believe that Dan Hamill himself actually wrote the quote "terrific storytellers with a keen sense of humor whose favorite topics include the misfits and the marginalized of their respective environments." Simply because he has no idea what words like “marginalized” or “respective” mean, unless the Kidd was helping him write this, but then that doesn’t explain the use of the word “keen”.
5. They are a band designed to appeal to mid thirties men who live in Queens with younger roommates who play online games screaming “MELEE ATTACK BONUS!! TROLL TROLL!” in their headset at all hours and then claim to have a girlfriend “In New Jersey”.
6. While typing this, I again tried to listen to the HOLD STEADY, I, in fact, listened to two albums, and I am even more offended than before that people I supposedly respect actually like this band and that I am not respected enough by them to think I would like this. The singer slurs like an American Black 47 and that is not a compliment. I will however give points for anything called “Stevie Nix” This music might work best in a bar in Astoria going out on a Thursday night with a friend named “Rory”, but please, to actually PAY for this? Dear Lord. You call this “impossibly catchy”? I call this impossible to stay awake listening to this.
That being said, I can appreciate why you like them. I totally get it. Also, I’m sure the live show is “fun” and when one of you buys me a ticket and if wrestling is not on (I am NOT set in my ways, goddammit!), I will go with an open mind to this gig, as long is it near my house, so I don’t waste too much time and travel “expense”. I don’t leave NYC, except for Dulli or John Cale. If you ask me to go to a Fridays to drink sangria or some queer cocktail before the gig (which is kind of a cool gimmick), the deal is off.
There is nothing I want more in this world than to be wrong about a band I don’t like. The Killers backfired. I am willing to be proven wrong and I am willing to be taken to the live show. I will gladly apologize on this very blog should I enjoy the band. The challenge is out, and the challenge was always there.
Now, I felt Lurch’s entry got entirely way too personal and I, being someone who never makes things too personal, or takes things too personally, I will now use this forum to retaliate against the false claims:
If I were opposed to “new things”, Lurch would be working at Lee Hi Truck Stop down in Lexington Va, serving Stan Kruger his breakfast every morning, Danny Hamill wouldn’t have a passport (or at least never would have seen Duran Duran), Evan would never get to make jokes about my hair with famous comic book writers, The Kidd would be living with Bednar, and Paul would be MOGpac. Also, we’d be 300 lbs after eating Pluck U every Monday for 10 years straight. I would also not like women, Lucky Jeans, Kasabian, Vincent Gallo, Mexican Food, and text messaging. I am also a sneaker whore. I am not opposed to new things, I am opposed to crap. The Hold Steady is crap.
In fact, I am so new that babies are old. For the record, I am not middle aged, unless I plan to die young, which is certainly an option (especially to sell records). It worked for the aggression with Mark, why not give Brandt the same benefit with Hypefactor?
The biggest disappointment in this entire “ordeal” is that “a friend’ would spend all this time writing about yours truly when he should be writing about how much he appreciates that, in the early 90’s, your hero dragged him out of the obscurity that is TGIFridays and brought him straight to the top. Yes, what I brought him to the top of isn’t quite clear and if his life is better for it is totally debatable, but that’s semantics. He would be Jim Hess’ house boy or something, that’s no secret, and he would probably know nothing about Asian cinema, comic books, good food (that’s kind of a lie, but I gotta say something) professional wrestling, industrial music, Vincent Gallo, The Stewart Manor Pansies, and at least 73 other awesome things associated with me. I’d go further if my nephew didn’t look up to the guy. Anyhow, the only thing this fucker has EVER done for me was sneak me an mp3 of the Ani Difranco/Jackie Chan duet. Yes, I am indebted, but come on. At least Evan gives me comics!
But honestly, Lurch, without me, the following photo would not be funny to you:
Checkmate.
So in closing, I ask you this question, and when I say “you”, you know whom I am asking: When you say “Danny”, do you mean “Earth 1 Danny” or “Earth 2 Danny”, cause the difference is ginormous and might require medical help.
I would never admit to Lurch in person that I am pleased he is finally writing on that godforsaken blog again and that I am thoroughly entertained. Because without it, how would I get to write such “clever” and “entertaining” entries like this?
Check his shit hot blog at:
http://ridetheliger.blogspot.com/
And for the record, he hasn’t banned Anus Mcanus. Just saying.
F
The extremely un-Tyler Durden like (meaning: dull and uncreative) title of the entry is “Something FRANK Should Like (But Probably Won’t)” and it is written by MOGpac member James Hambrick, whom you known as Lurch. This is in regards to my supposed lack (read: having good taste) of appreciation/interest in the Last Days Of Disco’s favourite band, The Hold Steady, of whom I vehemently oppose the very existence of for several reasons (beyond the fact that they love them THAT much and someone has to bust balls). Let me explain why:
1. They are American. (I have allowed myself to love only ONE American musician, and that is Greg Dulli).
2. They are old and unattractive. Call me gay, but I want to love my bands on a homoerotic level. My friends like them because they dress worse than anyone we know. I could deal with the old if they knew how to dress. I could deal with the dress if they were young. I could deal with both if the music was good.
3. They have beer cozies. PLEASE. I feel you posted that almost to incite me to violence (You DID, fucker!)
4. I don’t believe that Dan Hamill himself actually wrote the quote "terrific storytellers with a keen sense of humor whose favorite topics include the misfits and the marginalized of their respective environments." Simply because he has no idea what words like “marginalized” or “respective” mean, unless the Kidd was helping him write this, but then that doesn’t explain the use of the word “keen”.
5. They are a band designed to appeal to mid thirties men who live in Queens with younger roommates who play online games screaming “MELEE ATTACK BONUS!! TROLL TROLL!” in their headset at all hours and then claim to have a girlfriend “In New Jersey”.
6. While typing this, I again tried to listen to the HOLD STEADY, I, in fact, listened to two albums, and I am even more offended than before that people I supposedly respect actually like this band and that I am not respected enough by them to think I would like this. The singer slurs like an American Black 47 and that is not a compliment. I will however give points for anything called “Stevie Nix” This music might work best in a bar in Astoria going out on a Thursday night with a friend named “Rory”, but please, to actually PAY for this? Dear Lord. You call this “impossibly catchy”? I call this impossible to stay awake listening to this.
That being said, I can appreciate why you like them. I totally get it. Also, I’m sure the live show is “fun” and when one of you buys me a ticket and if wrestling is not on (I am NOT set in my ways, goddammit!), I will go with an open mind to this gig, as long is it near my house, so I don’t waste too much time and travel “expense”. I don’t leave NYC, except for Dulli or John Cale. If you ask me to go to a Fridays to drink sangria or some queer cocktail before the gig (which is kind of a cool gimmick), the deal is off.
There is nothing I want more in this world than to be wrong about a band I don’t like. The Killers backfired. I am willing to be proven wrong and I am willing to be taken to the live show. I will gladly apologize on this very blog should I enjoy the band. The challenge is out, and the challenge was always there.
Now, I felt Lurch’s entry got entirely way too personal and I, being someone who never makes things too personal, or takes things too personally, I will now use this forum to retaliate against the false claims:
If I were opposed to “new things”, Lurch would be working at Lee Hi Truck Stop down in Lexington Va, serving Stan Kruger his breakfast every morning, Danny Hamill wouldn’t have a passport (or at least never would have seen Duran Duran), Evan would never get to make jokes about my hair with famous comic book writers, The Kidd would be living with Bednar, and Paul would be MOGpac. Also, we’d be 300 lbs after eating Pluck U every Monday for 10 years straight. I would also not like women, Lucky Jeans, Kasabian, Vincent Gallo, Mexican Food, and text messaging. I am also a sneaker whore. I am not opposed to new things, I am opposed to crap. The Hold Steady is crap.
In fact, I am so new that babies are old. For the record, I am not middle aged, unless I plan to die young, which is certainly an option (especially to sell records). It worked for the aggression with Mark, why not give Brandt the same benefit with Hypefactor?
The biggest disappointment in this entire “ordeal” is that “a friend’ would spend all this time writing about yours truly when he should be writing about how much he appreciates that, in the early 90’s, your hero dragged him out of the obscurity that is TGIFridays and brought him straight to the top. Yes, what I brought him to the top of isn’t quite clear and if his life is better for it is totally debatable, but that’s semantics. He would be Jim Hess’ house boy or something, that’s no secret, and he would probably know nothing about Asian cinema, comic books, good food (that’s kind of a lie, but I gotta say something) professional wrestling, industrial music, Vincent Gallo, The Stewart Manor Pansies, and at least 73 other awesome things associated with me. I’d go further if my nephew didn’t look up to the guy. Anyhow, the only thing this fucker has EVER done for me was sneak me an mp3 of the Ani Difranco/Jackie Chan duet. Yes, I am indebted, but come on. At least Evan gives me comics!
But honestly, Lurch, without me, the following photo would not be funny to you:
Checkmate.
So in closing, I ask you this question, and when I say “you”, you know whom I am asking: When you say “Danny”, do you mean “Earth 1 Danny” or “Earth 2 Danny”, cause the difference is ginormous and might require medical help.
I would never admit to Lurch in person that I am pleased he is finally writing on that godforsaken blog again and that I am thoroughly entertained. Because without it, how would I get to write such “clever” and “entertaining” entries like this?
Check his shit hot blog at:
http://ridetheliger.blogspot.com/
And for the record, he hasn’t banned Anus Mcanus. Just saying.
F
5.10.06
SHE DID IT!!
So, Vik (who goes under many different names on this blog) has become the first friend to venture into POLITICS. Now, I'm just a musician, but it's pretty sweet to know that when I get arrested in Zone 10 next time, I can drop the name that's gonna get me off the hook. How fucking awesome is this that Vikki has once again stepped up to the plate and made shit happen. I cant wait till she becomes president and has Depeche Mode play the national anthem (or something).
Twofer Thursday
On to new business. I have found myself at the cinema quite a bit this week, checking out movies you might want to go see down the line. As usual, I am here to shoot you the straight shit and tell you what the fuck is up...
BABEL is the most depressing movie ever made on the planet Earth. It makes CRASH seem like THE WEDDING CRASHERS. There's not one moment of hope in this film. Ever. No one in this movie (and there are a lot of characters), seem to ever catch a break. This is a movie about unlucky fuckers. It's extremely well directed and acted. That doesn't mean I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean it's bad either. I was cringing the entire time. I will never see this movie again, I never even want to think of this movie ever again, and I can't even suggest you go see it either. Rarely has a movie hurt me like this did. It was two hours plus of massive discomfort. I could only take occasional solace in the scenes shot in Tokyo and it did have the best line, which was a detective saying "Another Shochu". Did I mention that Cate Blanchette spends the entire movie half dead and covered in blood and is still the best actress on the planet? After I finish this sentence I will try to forget this movie forever, despite the poster on the phonebooth in front of my building.
THE DEPARTED on the other hand, is an easy to digest, enjoyable moviegoing experience. Yes, we know it's a remake of the shit hot HK classic INFERNAL AFFAIRS and while no one can ever top that movie, or it's leads, Andy Lau and Tony Leung, this is nevertheless awesome fucking filmmaking and great entertainment. What a cast!! Dicaprio (actually good!), Damon (always good!), Sheen (Martin! just to be clear), and fucking Whalberg eats up every scene he's in. And what can I say about Nicholson. It's great to see him fucking ACT, cause he spends the entire movie teetering on the edge but tempers himself like such a pro that he never ventures into Johnny Marr territory (aka parody, via Ash circa 2004). The excitment flowing through Dan Hamill upon learning that Alec Baldwin was in this was off the charts. He was rewarded for his enthusiasm. But the killer casting, which i didnt know about, was when RAY FUCKING WINSTONE appears on the screen, thats when Danny, Lurch and I knew we were in for a good time. Frank DeSanto Senior popped so hard during the ending of this film that I thought he was going to laugh himself all the way back to the Manor. Scorcese deserves tons of praise for making something so interesting yet commercially entertaining. This movie also succeeds on proper nonstop uses of words like "cunt", "cocksucker" and contains lots of blood and repeated face punching. Smart filmmaking, great acting, super story. This is his best movie (IN MY HONEST OPINION of course) since Goodfellas. Enjoy.
F
BABEL is the most depressing movie ever made on the planet Earth. It makes CRASH seem like THE WEDDING CRASHERS. There's not one moment of hope in this film. Ever. No one in this movie (and there are a lot of characters), seem to ever catch a break. This is a movie about unlucky fuckers. It's extremely well directed and acted. That doesn't mean I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean it's bad either. I was cringing the entire time. I will never see this movie again, I never even want to think of this movie ever again, and I can't even suggest you go see it either. Rarely has a movie hurt me like this did. It was two hours plus of massive discomfort. I could only take occasional solace in the scenes shot in Tokyo and it did have the best line, which was a detective saying "Another Shochu". Did I mention that Cate Blanchette spends the entire movie half dead and covered in blood and is still the best actress on the planet? After I finish this sentence I will try to forget this movie forever, despite the poster on the phonebooth in front of my building.
THE DEPARTED on the other hand, is an easy to digest, enjoyable moviegoing experience. Yes, we know it's a remake of the shit hot HK classic INFERNAL AFFAIRS and while no one can ever top that movie, or it's leads, Andy Lau and Tony Leung, this is nevertheless awesome fucking filmmaking and great entertainment. What a cast!! Dicaprio (actually good!), Damon (always good!), Sheen (Martin! just to be clear), and fucking Whalberg eats up every scene he's in. And what can I say about Nicholson. It's great to see him fucking ACT, cause he spends the entire movie teetering on the edge but tempers himself like such a pro that he never ventures into Johnny Marr territory (aka parody, via Ash circa 2004). The excitment flowing through Dan Hamill upon learning that Alec Baldwin was in this was off the charts. He was rewarded for his enthusiasm. But the killer casting, which i didnt know about, was when RAY FUCKING WINSTONE appears on the screen, thats when Danny, Lurch and I knew we were in for a good time. Frank DeSanto Senior popped so hard during the ending of this film that I thought he was going to laugh himself all the way back to the Manor. Scorcese deserves tons of praise for making something so interesting yet commercially entertaining. This movie also succeeds on proper nonstop uses of words like "cunt", "cocksucker" and contains lots of blood and repeated face punching. Smart filmmaking, great acting, super story. This is his best movie (IN MY HONEST OPINION of course) since Goodfellas. Enjoy.
F
3.10.06
Killed.
OK, this will be my final entry in my total burial of the killers, but Irene pointed out to me their SNL performance, which features every single problem I have with this lame ass band:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwfxLDBVyJM
Watch. Look for the guy in the back, look at My Name Is Earl on drums, look at the trannie on guitar, look at Kruger on bass, look how weak and stiff B-No is. He so lame he makes Moby look like Serge Pizzorno. It's OVER.
Ok, unless they do something even MORE stupid, this is the last of my anti-Killers rants. Its more out of sheer disappointment than anything, kids. I don't want to hate ANYthing, I'm not a shit fan, and I'm not a fan of shit. And this, my friend is shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwfxLDBVyJM
Watch. Look for the guy in the back, look at My Name Is Earl on drums, look at the trannie on guitar, look at Kruger on bass, look how weak and stiff B-No is. He so lame he makes Moby look like Serge Pizzorno. It's OVER.
Ok, unless they do something even MORE stupid, this is the last of my anti-Killers rants. Its more out of sheer disappointment than anything, kids. I don't want to hate ANYthing, I'm not a shit fan, and I'm not a fan of shit. And this, my friend is shit.
2.10.06
1.10.06
"PORN WITH MORALS"
Dear Last Days Of Disco: I still don't understand what happened the other night but I'm pretty sure the evening was directed by Terry Gilliam or as G put it, booked by Vince Russo (though if Russo had booked it, Lurch would have slept with BOTH of the chicks he had been set up with). If this is what the Last Days of Disco do, I am happy to provide the occasional cameo, and then retire home to my girlfriend and Lego Star Wars 2 and what Brandt calls my "FUCKING COMIC BOOK WRITING". I'm sure we will be discussing this in detail at our writers brunch or during our usual Monday Night fun, but grife!! I learned many things that evening, none of it good, most of it great, none of it about myself or about you guys, but some of it about the different degrees of Baltika, a beer made for me. I would also call that evening a success, a laugh riot, and the invite is appreciated...
See you on the fake friends tour ;-) (sorry that makes no sense to you readers, but the Last Days Trio will get that). As that kid The Kidd would say "HARSH, FRANK".
Keep it crooked (worst laugh ever)
F
See you on the fake friends tour ;-) (sorry that makes no sense to you readers, but the Last Days Trio will get that). As that kid The Kidd would say "HARSH, FRANK".
Keep it crooked (worst laugh ever)
F