Irene and I made a rare appearance in Brooklyn (shhh, dont tell the neighbors) on Thursday night to celebrate the birthday or Brandt's ladyfriend, Allison Brown (the photographer). She's a sweet kid. Here, in an exclusive photo, Brandt and Irene spend 10 minutes talking about "Doug" until I point out they are both talking about two different Dougs, leading to big laughs. Brooklyn will do that.
The next night, Irene and I checked out the PIRATES sequel. Honestly, I fucking loved it. Oh, it's not a good movie, everything is very convenient, but about an hour in, it takes off and just doesn't stop. Its not Matrix2, so take that as a good sign. Seriously. Great ending, tons of fun. AND they're supposedly gonna have Chow Yun Fat in the 3rd one! This was the best sequel I have seen in awhile and possibly the one modern franchise that can go the distance. It's huge and fun and for the first time, I liked Orlando Bloom, who seems more confident and swashbuckler-y. The Depp of course, owns and was just gay enough for me to love it!
THEN came the best day ever. Thanks to Allison Brown (the photographer, romantically linked to Hypefactor guitarist Brandt) who made it so I couldn't work on music with Brandt, and thanks to Charles (the musician, known for how he speaks to people) for getting sick so I couldn't go to Ash's to work on music with the cobras, and thanks to Ash for being, well, Ash, I found myself with members of the MOGpac offshoot THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO, who invited me to Coney Island for the day. Nathans was eaten and laughs were had. Here's what we learned at Nathans:
After checking out the Coney scene, our tipsy asses walked down the boardwalk to Brighton Beach, where we found a Russian bistro that would serve us Caviar and BALTICA 9 (one of the two drinks on this planet you are not supposed to give me). The Kidd wisely chose Baltica 3 and even the waiter gave us the "Baltica Speech" ("9 is too strong"), but G, Lurch and myself disregarded these warnings:
This of course led to much trouble and the usual embarassment that comes with being MOGpac in public. Those of you who understand this know what I am saying (Ash and Matt!), and for the rest of you, it cannot be explained. We had a fun afternoon with the Russians. the Kidd showed them his tattoo (that he got in Russia) and they laughed. Look at Danny's appropriate wardrobe choice of the day:
Then we returned to Coney and engaged in what is called SHOOT THE FREAK, which is the most vile shit ever, but yet the greatest in which you try to paintball another human being who is running around an alley. I have a vague recollection of doing this but recall G or the Kidd complaining that the 'freak" we were shooting at was not as good as the last one they tried to kill:
Then finally, after YEARS of waitng, i one-upped that douche John Darryl Sparks (who never got to ride because Kruger and I beat him up) and finally got to BUMP BUMP BUMP my ASS off on the Coney Island Bumper Cars. This was the best and most legal way to engage in some drunk driving:
And then finally, after a day of drinks, freak shooting, City Of God Volleyball, and God knows what else (I forgot to mention at one point I wandered to the beach and scored some beer from some nice people), we rode the dreaded rickety ass Cyclone:
I SUCK on these things, but I did alright here. I rode this shit with Kruger back in the 90's. This time was fun, despite my being a massive screaming bitch and punching the head of whoever sat in front of me. In the end it was fun and painless (relatively).
Then it was back to Nathans, for more beer and hot dogs and where Danny made love to a table.
Then we got on a train and went back to the city. I made it home in time for dinner and Irene only complained I "reeked of booze", then she cooked and i passed out. The lads went onto to the continue the Last Days Of Disconess. I know left tons out, and the guys have helped me here, as they did with the Montreal trip last year, with some words, which I present to you here (I'm sure we will be adding to this):
Danny's thoughts on THE BEST DAY EVER:
If you are frightened to ride the cyclone, sure to have a couple of Baltica 9's in you before you ride. It takes the fear away. Just ask that man at Ash's gig who nearly had his ass fucked.
I'm also fairly certain that's how the freak gets by after a long day of being shot at. If that gig wasn't a stones throw from Brighton Beach restaurants that keep Baltica on hand he'd have been Lurch's patient at Bellvue long ago
Check the Cheese fries for alien substances like one would check the beach volleyball games for fitness.
The Kidd's comments on THE BEST DAY EVER:
"Thank you." Addressed to the Fitness who retreived the volleyball
"This is us at Eighty."
"Try harder, City of God."
Lurch recalls his memories of THE BEST DAY EVER:
Frank gives a girl an eating disorder: "That girl's THICK."
Danny: "You graduated?" Frank: "This is like the van
conversation all over again."
The old dude in the Christ pose at the cold air station
getting watery air blown on his crotch: Me: "Refreshing."
"She's from Bang Bros. MILF Lessons." Frank: "I feel like I'm
missing a whole world of internet porn because I keep reading
about comics and wrestling."
"My First Dough Entry Dot Com."
Bag Tags up the Boardwalk
Don't know if this counts, since it slightly predates our
afternoon, but I like it anyway: The Kidd greets us: "If you
could be any of the gladiators from 'Running Man,' who would
you be?"
The Kidd vomiting in his mouth because Frank pulled out the
dirty napkins.
"I'm staying at the W." Three finger sign. "Yeah. That'll
happen." Later translated as: "Yeah, I'll bundle up my
cancer-ridden baby nephew to come visit you at the W."
Mr. Factor had no statementin regards to THE BEST DAY EVER:
And finally, look at this handsome boy (who luckily was hundreds of miles away in the safety of his parents arms while all of the above was happening). WHO do you think gave Avy Podboy this outfit?
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
F
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