9.10.05

The Latest...

To say this week was dull would be an understatement. No matter how hard I tried, all attempts to see SERENITY were thwarted by hangovers, conference calls, terror threats, shit weather and poor timing due to work schedules. Then today's attempts to actually sit down and do anything were ruined by one of my RAM drives taking a massive dive, thus leading to yet another trip to the Apple store. To Apple's credit, their new Genius Bar appointment system works much better now, so the wait time wasn't as bad. Thanks to an actually helpful and nice "Genius" named Charlie, the problem was fixed in a creative and effected manner, but this powerbooks days are numbered.

*In a strange conicidence, I put on my new remastered Korean copy of the first Jackie Chan movie to really make an impact on me back in the day: WHEELS ON MEALS. I sorta didn't pay attention as I was pretty much freaking out about the powerbook getting all shitty, but I at one point today said to myself "Jesus, you know it;'s been like 20 years since Jackie, Sammo, and Yuen Biao appeared on screen together. The last time was HERE in one of my top ten films of all time: "DRAGONS FOREVER" Then literally the first thing read upon getting the laptop home is this on Monkeypeaches.com: "In the 1980s, Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao starred in such comedy classic as Project A, Wheels on Meals and Dragon Forever. During an interview with South Korea’s Yonhap News Agency, Jackie Chan said Yuen Biao would be in Project BB (aka. Project Baby or Baby Plan) he wrote. This would the first movie for the legendary trio in almost two decades. It will tell three crooks steal a baby in order to complete a deal with a gang, but none of them knows how to take care of their little hostage who, after gives them some major headache at their residence, somehow "persuades" them to give up doing bad things." Weird, huh? Exciting for us HK movie buffs and probably the cinematic equivalent of the Duran reunion for me.

*In better spirits in the evening, we threw on the recent French hit film "36 Quai des Orfèvres", which was fucking AWESOME. Of course, Hollywood is remaking it, as remaking cool foreign cop films, like INFERNAL AFFAIRS is currently the trend. Here's a bit about the film from the Edinburgh Film Festival program: "France's two biggest male stars, Gerard Depardieu and Daniel Auteuil, in this gripping drama of two rogue cops - once friends, now mortal enemies. Boasting a blue-chip cast, this widescreen extravaganza is like an inspired cross between Michael Mann's Heat and The Count of Monte Cristo, as two cops - one ruthlessly corrupt, the other obsessively determined to bring him down - do battle over almost ten years. With its immaculate production values, its intricate plotting, and two never-better performances from its leads, this gritty, hard-boiled tale of honour and betrayal (written and directed by a former cop, and based on actual events in the French force during 1980s) was France's biggest box-office hit last year - and it's easy to see why."

*I want you to know I had an E-mail exchange with the infamous Anus McManus (as I call it McAnus), who asked to be a part of this blog. He did tell me to "Taste The Anus" when I told him he was "mean", and just as he was the talk of the town last week, he is long forgotten this week. However, my current suspects involve not only someone who is mentally retarded and is probably still in the 8th grade in Garden City New York, but also a famous French film star who I will not name, but admire tremendously. Thanks to Lurch for the tip on this one.

*Thanks to poor timing, I ended up seeing the Cameron Diaz film IN HER SHOES which was actually a well made movie about two sisters. One's hot, one's fat. I felt this movie was 4 hours long. However, it does not suck and I have a feeling, being an only child, and not being a chick, that i didn't get nearly as much as the 100 bawling chicks, including my Significant Other (Irene, Not G), did. Curtis Hanson is a great director and knows which strings to pull. Again, chick flick that does not such. Well done. Supposedly it's based on a book and supposedly, according to the avid reader of the house, they didn't fuck up the movie. Rare.

*I need to vent to you my absoulte HATRED of the talentless and unfunny man known as Horatio Sanz. He represents everything that is wrong with SNL, which I just watched for the first time in years just to see Jon (Napoleon Dynamite) Heder, and while of course the show still sucks, I cannot believe this guy Sanz is still on. Formerly Jimmy Fallon's bitch, this guy cannot keep a straight face during a skit. He breaks character every time, can barely deliver the lines he's given and looks like he just arrived at work and hasn't been told what they are doing that day. He stares at cue cards like The Kidd does at porn. He's just terrible and lame and should be fired. Why are they not hiring guys like Rob Huebel and Aziz Ansari, who are truly funny bastards? Check out http://www.azizisbored.com/ for some funny shit right there.

In yet another example of conicidence or gimmick infringement, please observe the following photographic evidence that once again displays the similiarities between myself and my bass hero, Peter Hook:

FRANK DESANTO: Lotus, last Saturday night

PETER HOOK: Lotus, last Saturday night

I guess considering I basically stole EVERYTHING from the man from his bass playing, his mild insanity, and stage performance, to his hair and gut, I can venture to say that he is entitled to steal my "being seen in public with an asian chick" gimmick in return. However, I win for being photographed with two chicks and just for the look on Al's face to my left where she is thinking "I can't believe I came here with Brandt". But thats for another time.

Stay Golden. I got some big news coming...

F

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