SUSPECTS

The not really big topic of discussion between NY and LA is the true identity of Anus Mcmanus. Who is this person? He, she or it posts often, mostly in a fashion that is mildly entertaining, yet totally yet never really annoying. While Matt Gentile probably loses sleep over these things, I see it as an opportunity to break out my Sherlock Homles cap and utilize my not really impressive skills of detection. And now for your amusement (and due to the fact that I'm taking a break from working on music), I present to you the findings of my not really in depth investigation into the true person behind this not really memorable blog spuzzing culprit. Ruling out ex-girlfriends, lazy former guitarists, the poontangers (who love themselves too much to post anonymously) and people who live too far out to have the internets, the following is my shortlist of those who may be the anus known as Anus:

GUTTERBALL VINNIE: Handome, witty, and not technically savvy, this Mogpacker could be the anus, as he often writes all in caps and can't go too long without mentioning his interest in sex with men. I also think he could have created this account because he lost his password to his regular blog account after spending time in Greece. He was my original choice.

THE KIDD Having recently become employed, this would give the Kidd constant access to the internets. Plus he is Irish, which would explain the McManus. Also, refers to or uses his anal region with disturbing regularity. While Matt Gentile believes the Kidd does not read this blog, I in fact know he does, simply cause I ask him to daily. He was my strongest choice until Anus made reference to Ian Brown having been in jail at one point, something the Kidd I doubt would be aware of. That simple comment shifted my focus to...

BRANDT: The "Ian Brown in Jail" comment and the way certain things are phrased have now made this small young boy my leading suspect. On the flipside, Brandt is usually funny in print, which is the total opposite of how he is in person, though he might be intentionally unfunny in the guise of anus to throw suspicion off. You can't underestimate his cleverness. However, often use of the word "nutsack" keeps the spotlight pointed in his direction. A close call between Summer Man and...

TODD RYAN: Part Gay, Part industrial, Todd Ryan is an archelogist in real life, thus feeling the need to create mysteries for us to solve. He's also very tall and is constantly harassing me sexually. Todd embodies the harsh nature and insecurity one needs to post insults on a board that about ten people read. Indiana Jones, he is not, but Anus he could be.

INTERFOREIGN COUPLE: I just like this picture a lot.

SPECIAL MENTION: In my heart of hearts, Anus is really ED WONG.

Anyhow, who do YOU think this douche is? Discuss.

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