Uncle Kieran?

While we are freezing our asses off here in the big city, I thought I would take this moment to just throw some recent events your way.

*Movies have been seen. SIDEWAYS is very enjoyable yet slightly overrated. I like to call the film THE ADVENTURES OF LINK AND KRUGER IF THEY NEVER MET THEIR WIVES. Don't tell them that, please. I doubt they read this drivel anyway. They're too busy making babies. Anyhow, Paul Giamatti, a very nice man, is either a genius or has some very good agents, because he is constantly matched with characters that suit his talents perfectly and because of that, he's going from supporting shlub to leading indie man. Incredible. I don't see all the fuss about Virginia Madsen though. She has one great scene and seems rather bland beyond that. In both GARDEN STATE and CLOSER, our Nat is miles ahead.

*I might be the only person here who loves Jennifer Garner. A certain Dan Hamill might recall our watching FELICITY very early on and me saying "The chick with the weird face and the glasses is the best thing on the show". A certain father of 2 in Chicago might recall being drunk watching DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR and me slurring "oh thats the fucking hot chick from FELICITY" in between sips of booze and his usual complaining. And lastly, my dad was asleep during PEARL HARBOR when I turned to him and said "oh this movie sucks but there's the chick with the cheekbones". Anyhow, I thought she was mega fine. Chris Link must love her because she looks like she could be his wife's sister. ANYHOW, despite her cuteness in 13 GOING ON 30, her recent choices in film and love puzzle me. Affleck? What the fuck is that about? I can't speculate, but at least Michael Douglas gave us WALL STREET and some other great movies before he sold his soul to the devil to get a hot chick he doesn't at all deserve. Affleck has given us nothing. ANYWAY, I should on paper love ELEKTRA. Sadly, it's about as exciting as Madge in Manhattan. It has very little to do with the source material, the movie has too many holes and frankly, it's boring. However, Terrence Stamp makes me laugh uncontrollably and gave me ample room to make ZOD jokes out loud. Anyhow, back to Ms. Affleck. Why must this poor girl cry in every production she's in? Fire Ben. Fire your agents. drop a line to Gutterball@Hamill.com and get your shit together. Girl, you'll be a woman soon, and by then it might be too late.

*Who was the HOTTEST at the Golden Globes? Not Nat. Not Byalick, Not Shatner...it was PHEOBE FUCKING CATES. Did you SEE Mrs. Kevin Kline? SO FINE. Her kids all have to be in college by now, so why not a comeback?

*A webzine has approached me to discuss the history of the aggression and my musical adventures at length. Feeling that this might be the first and only interview I ever do of this nature, I will try to go into as much detail as possible. When it's posted, I'll make mention of it here.

*Yesterday, like clockwork, I received my quarterly E-mail from former aggression member and current babymaker Mark Mohtashemi, or as he is known to a certain few, Phingers. His E-mail was titled "your blog = my pain", which I found unusually clever for him. In his E-mail he was candid about how he has been reading this blog and is hurt by certain derogatory references that have been made regarding "former guitarists" and their alleged lack of talent. As I assured the talented yet unambitious aggression co-founder, and I assure you all now, none of these not so subtle jabs are pointed at the future father of a child that will soon call ANOTHER former guitarist "uncle". I'll try to be less subtle next time. Mark, if you see the words "bored", "unenthusiastic", or "lazy", in regards to a guitarist, that should be your cue to E-mail me.

*Brandt The Soul Man ate Bob's Donuts this week. That is not code. He actually was in Los Angeles, so I directed him to the proper locations to work on music and eat the very best donuts on the planet. He now gets it. I almost now forgive him for the Razorfight. I'm kidding. However, he was smart to wait for me for C'brea. I'm sure we'll hit LA on the Hypefactor tour when the album comes out in 12 years. Anyhow, he stayed with Leo and came back to New York quite ill. Do the math.

*I learned this week that you are all nice people. Everyone was really cool in the Razorfight and the discussion was that of adults. I tried to bring it down a few levels, but sadly you are all better people than I am.

*Dan Hamill and The Kidd live with each other now. IN QUEENS. With a lease on a new apartment comes a new lease on life for these MOGpackers. They have a dream. It is to build their own Dojo. I will be the first to sign up. They live one half hour from my house. I went to their new home and drank Russian Beer while listening to Pulp. I also bought them lunch, but not from the very close Wendy's. I think this was avoided on purpose to actually get me to visit again. For the record, until this week, I have never visited Dan Hamill's home since I lived with him in the (now) legendary 33 Gold Street. For the record, I think this new apartment is a good thing. Also, I bought lunch. IN QUEENS.

*My copy of the live Revenge album, called NO PAIN NO GAIN, arrived and it is a wonderful snapshot of the amazing Peter Hook and his band in the year 1991. I think I saw this band in 1990 and it changed me forever. This disc is an essential and I already hear the live Hypefactor.

*24 is fucking awesome. It is the best. I actually watch it over wrestling. Thank fuck for DVR

*I debate Matt Gentile's trip to Amsterdam actually happening. It just seemed too short. He could be too fucked up to realize he didn't actually go. This would not shock me. I think he's taking Danny Boyle's decision not to film a TRAINSPOTTING sequel way too hard.

*My girlfriend, a very attractive, intelligent and normally reasonable young lady is insane to be going out in this weather right now.

F